Well, I've gotten another one.
I now have another person who has said "Quit using my in your blogs", so- I will respectfully do so... but only by his name.
All of the dumb shit this person has said will STILL be put up here, but I cannot use their name any longer.
I'm not that surprised, but I'm just surprised it took this long.
I will not tell anyone who it is, but if you've read my previous blog entry... then you may or may not have your answer.
Honestly; I don't care.
I just think it's funny people take themselves seriously. Who gives a fuck what people think about you, especially the internet land. It's full of psychos who hate you for spelling something wrong.
If someone mentions me (even in a disdainful way)- COOL! Send it to me, that's fine.
The thing I find most humorous is that people take themselves all to seriously and then don't defend themselves... they just say "Don't ever mention me again", or something like that.
PLEASE- fuck your pride, fuck your conscious, be a human.
Fuck your needs, let's worry about the Ethiopians.
If you don't want to be written about- tell me that, and I won't mention you... I won't even be angry, I completely understand.
So- from now on I'll use a codename for this person and their fun little stories. I'm thinkin'.... like Fagzar, or something groovy like that. I'll update you on what I decide to name such.
- JoshBennett
Showing posts with label Fun Times. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fun Times. Show all posts
Friday, June 20, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Seriously.
So yesterday I had two open houses (Clay's and Richie's, for those who were wondering), and my friend Trent (he looks like Aaron Gillespie from Under0ath) wanted to come along to Richie's, but I had to stop at Clay's beforehand- so he came with me there, we had also agreed to meet Matt and Josh G. at 3 or so at Dairy Queen to all walk together out to Richie's open house.
While Trent and I were sitting at Clay's- Cameron showed up, and said he was headed out to Richie's open house (which is a nice, long, HOT, walk), so we decided to just get a ride. I called up Josh G. and told him that Cameron would just give us all a ride- and he said alright... Five minutes later he called back and just said that they would walk... fine.
A short while later we left for Richie's open house.
After we got there, the "group" was all by a table. Trent, Cameron and I join them and we're all just sitting around making fun of each other- talking, and stuff.
About 20-30 minutes later- Matt gets up and goes "Yeah, I think I'm gonna leave".
That's cool, do what you want- walking in that blistering heat.
So as the night progresses, a bunch of us end up at Clay's house playing video games... which turns into all of us making fun of each other until 5 AM (that's when I left at least).
I get online today, IM Matt- and tell him he missed out on all the fun (including a deathcore band that played Richie's open house, us tying tons of helium balloons to a soda can and making it float off into the distance, and a skate video about a mysterious rabbit), to which this conversation happened:
Matt: You guys were being dicks.
Me: Dude, we were all being dicks to each other, it's how it rolls.
Matt: Nah, you guys were ganging up on me.
Me: No we weren't, we all make fun of each other... you're an easy target, that's not my fault.
It may have sounded rude... but it's true.
We ALL make fun of each other.
NO ONE IS EXEMPT.
Even Trent (the youngest and least familiar with the group) took the making fun of- and then everybody loved him, and was fine with him.
You can't expect to be instantly welcomed without a backlash.
When you try looking like a badass, straightening your hair 3 - 5 times a day for 30 minutes a day- you're gonna get made fun of.
When you talk about getting your septum pierced and guaging your ears- you're gonna get made fun of by someone.
While you try looking like other people, those people are actually having fun while you perfect looking like them.
The day he can take the making fun of- is the day he'll be openly welcomed into the group by me.
- Josh
While Trent and I were sitting at Clay's- Cameron showed up, and said he was headed out to Richie's open house (which is a nice, long, HOT, walk), so we decided to just get a ride. I called up Josh G. and told him that Cameron would just give us all a ride- and he said alright... Five minutes later he called back and just said that they would walk... fine.
A short while later we left for Richie's open house.
After we got there, the "group" was all by a table. Trent, Cameron and I join them and we're all just sitting around making fun of each other- talking, and stuff.
About 20-30 minutes later- Matt gets up and goes "Yeah, I think I'm gonna leave".
That's cool, do what you want- walking in that blistering heat.
So as the night progresses, a bunch of us end up at Clay's house playing video games... which turns into all of us making fun of each other until 5 AM (that's when I left at least).
I get online today, IM Matt- and tell him he missed out on all the fun (including a deathcore band that played Richie's open house, us tying tons of helium balloons to a soda can and making it float off into the distance, and a skate video about a mysterious rabbit), to which this conversation happened:
Matt: You guys were being dicks.
Me: Dude, we were all being dicks to each other, it's how it rolls.
Matt: Nah, you guys were ganging up on me.
Me: No we weren't, we all make fun of each other... you're an easy target, that's not my fault.
It may have sounded rude... but it's true.
We ALL make fun of each other.
NO ONE IS EXEMPT.
Even Trent (the youngest and least familiar with the group) took the making fun of- and then everybody loved him, and was fine with him.
You can't expect to be instantly welcomed without a backlash.
When you try looking like a badass, straightening your hair 3 - 5 times a day for 30 minutes a day- you're gonna get made fun of.
When you talk about getting your septum pierced and guaging your ears- you're gonna get made fun of by someone.
While you try looking like other people, those people are actually having fun while you perfect looking like them.
The day he can take the making fun of- is the day he'll be openly welcomed into the group by me.
- Josh
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
The Josh Bennett Bible, Book One: Genesis
In an effort to further my seat into the depths of hell, I've embarked on a new experiment.
I'm re-writing the bible.
I'm doing EVERY book of the bible, and it'll just be summaries- nothing huge and extensive, probably paragraph or two at most.
Setting it in modern day, including sex scenes, gun fights, super-heroes, gangsters, polar bears, and Al Gore.
Still not sure how often they'll be posted (pending me NOT being deleted from Blogger for it), but enjoy.
- Josh.
I'm re-writing the bible.
I'm doing EVERY book of the bible, and it'll just be summaries- nothing huge and extensive, probably paragraph or two at most.
Setting it in modern day, including sex scenes, gun fights, super-heroes, gangsters, polar bears, and Al Gore.
Still not sure how often they'll be posted (pending me NOT being deleted from Blogger for it), but enjoy.
Book One, Genesis:
So in the beginning there was this intense motherfucker named God, his homies called him G though. He would fuck bitches up left and right. He was rolling in the money so much- he wanted to build himself an entire compound, make it as big as fucking planet, hire Cubans to take care of it- fucking intense motherfucking shit. G made it all pretty and shit. Then he had two of his niggs come down from South Central to chill out, but then they started stealing and eating all of his shit. G loves his fucking apples, and he wasn't gonna stand for that shit. So G started being an major asshole, and decided to just leave the place, but leave them there to teach the bitches a lesson. It was this tight honey named Eve, and this mafiaoso motherfucker named Adam. They fucked like rabbits forever. So, big G came back one day and was like "Aight Bitches, you're staying here- but my homie Jesus is gonna be here one day to fuck you up", so- Adam and Eve kept fucking, and so did their kids. Shit was starting out REAL tight, and REALLY fucked up.
- Josh.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
A public service announcement.
Good day silencenauts (yes, that term again) I've got something new to report, something new I've done
... I peed in the sink.
That's right, I said it, and I did it.
I peed in the fucking sink, and guess what- it was the greatest urination of my entire life.
For you female readers- you may disregard, unless you're into crouching on top of your sink on a regular basis. Fellow manfolk- peeing in the sink is 1,000,000 times easier, quicker, and better than peeing in your toilet.
this is how I see it, your sink is usually at waist level with your body, meaning you don't have to let your little fellow hang there like a sloth from a tree.
Now, the cleanup is easier as well.
If you've ever woken up with a full bladder, like Hoover Dam type stuff. You go to the bathroom, and spend two minutes standing there, staring at your junk and the toilet.
What happens with that giant spurge of urine? It bounces on you occasionally. Making your leg covered in urine, and often the floor.
Not with the sink, you point and a steady stream goes right down the drain.
Now unless your sink is set back a good ten inches, you can make peeing in the sink easily.
It's not as gross as you might think either- urine is a sterile substance, and if it still disgusts you, just dump some water in the sink around the edges and stuff, it'll be good as it was before you unleashed your water beast into lake sinkalot.
So fellow males- do me a favor:
PISS IN YOUR SINK
- Josh.
... I peed in the sink.
That's right, I said it, and I did it.
I peed in the fucking sink, and guess what- it was the greatest urination of my entire life.
For you female readers- you may disregard, unless you're into crouching on top of your sink on a regular basis. Fellow manfolk- peeing in the sink is 1,000,000 times easier, quicker, and better than peeing in your toilet.
this is how I see it, your sink is usually at waist level with your body, meaning you don't have to let your little fellow hang there like a sloth from a tree.
Now, the cleanup is easier as well.
If you've ever woken up with a full bladder, like Hoover Dam type stuff. You go to the bathroom, and spend two minutes standing there, staring at your junk and the toilet.
What happens with that giant spurge of urine? It bounces on you occasionally. Making your leg covered in urine, and often the floor.
Not with the sink, you point and a steady stream goes right down the drain.
Now unless your sink is set back a good ten inches, you can make peeing in the sink easily.
It's not as gross as you might think either- urine is a sterile substance, and if it still disgusts you, just dump some water in the sink around the edges and stuff, it'll be good as it was before you unleashed your water beast into lake sinkalot.
So fellow males- do me a favor:
PISS IN YOUR SINK
- Josh.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Have A Night.
So, I think it's been a good day, fair to say.
I woke up, did some normal chores, and sat around.
Mike came by, we hit up some Subway, came back to my house, watched an episode of Arrested Development, and he bailed.
Around 6 or so- Fred calls, and asks if I want to go to a show in Champion with him, I'm down (but broke). He picks me up, and he doesn't know where the hell we are going.
We are near an intersection by my house, Fred is turning and a car comes out of nowhere and narrowly misses hitting us, an early premonition.
About five minutes later (while Fred is trying to find route 5) a deer jumps across the road five feet in front of the car.
After a while, we find that we are FAIRLY lost, and don't know where the hell we're headed. Fred is being super-silent, and apparently super-scared. To make matters better- me captain optimistic, I brought CD's along, and I'm just changing CD's, listening and relaxed while he feels lost.
We pull into the ghetto of West Market Street... WRONG CHOICE.
So, we're driving around W. Market Street looking for SOME place to pull into and ask for directions, and we see a drive through.
Fred pulls in and stops the car, no door.
This older Indian fellow signals us over to the window, and with his angry, thick accent gives us directions, we get in the car and get the fuck out of there!
We find our way to the show, hang out with Carly, Kara, and Nolan- and eventually leave and I get home around 12:30.
Now, here I am with some Diet Pepsi, getting some tired going on.
Have a good one - Josh.
I woke up, did some normal chores, and sat around.
Mike came by, we hit up some Subway, came back to my house, watched an episode of Arrested Development, and he bailed.
Around 6 or so- Fred calls, and asks if I want to go to a show in Champion with him, I'm down (but broke). He picks me up, and he doesn't know where the hell we are going.
We are near an intersection by my house, Fred is turning and a car comes out of nowhere and narrowly misses hitting us, an early premonition.
About five minutes later (while Fred is trying to find route 5) a deer jumps across the road five feet in front of the car.
After a while, we find that we are FAIRLY lost, and don't know where the hell we're headed. Fred is being super-silent, and apparently super-scared. To make matters better- me captain optimistic, I brought CD's along, and I'm just changing CD's, listening and relaxed while he feels lost.
We pull into the ghetto of West Market Street... WRONG CHOICE.
So, we're driving around W. Market Street looking for SOME place to pull into and ask for directions, and we see a drive through.
Fred pulls in and stops the car, no door.
This older Indian fellow signals us over to the window, and with his angry, thick accent gives us directions, we get in the car and get the fuck out of there!
We find our way to the show, hang out with Carly, Kara, and Nolan- and eventually leave and I get home around 12:30.
Now, here I am with some Diet Pepsi, getting some tired going on.
Have a good one - Josh.
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