Well, Josh is an asshole.

Right now, it's 1:22 PM, and I feel pretty shitty. Listening to Otis Redding's greatest hits, one of the best soul albums of all time as far as I'm concerned.

I don't know, I just feel kind of bad about my previous post, about how foolish and childish I was for writing about all of that and fighting with Christina yesterday.

I feel like a bad guy.
Heh.

I try being nice, and being a good person... But, I don't know, I just kind of feel like an asshole, all of this stuff hitting me at once, and making me realize that I'm a total prick to all of the best people in my life; Sam, Amber, Fred, Daan, Mike, Matt (sometimes), and everyone else (not purposely excluding you, the list could go on for DAYS).

Like I've said various times, I believe in Karma, and doing good things- but it seems like I can be a nice person, if I have no history with them, I believe that if I left now, and never talked to any of my friends again, I'd be a totally different person- mind you I'd still be me, but I think that I'd be a nicer person.

People have come to expect me to be loud, in the moment, stuff like that, and I always am... But I don't know if I always want to be. I don't want to be a bad person, but I also don't want to stop what I do best, and I mean- I can be funny without hurting peoples feelings, but that's my nature, I'm never serious whenever I make fun of someone, but I can't always be sure that they know that.

I don't know anymore.


- Josh.