A Night To Forget.

Evening, I noticed I forgot to post yesterday, my bad if you know someone was actually looking to read the new one. I'm just tired tonight, directly after this- I'll probably crash for the night. I was gonna do something tonight- but weather isn't agreeing with my plans.

So, how are you? Good, good. Really? Wow.

Anyways-

Yesterday... Hm, I don't think I did much. I got a new idea for writing- but it's still in step 3 of 8 in the process of understanding. I like the idea though- I've noticed with things I've written in the past that I make it up a lot as I go, and sure that works... Hardly ever, but whatever. That's probably why I dislike a lot of my own writing. I started reading that Leonard Michaels book my dear girlfriend got me- and I'm really digging it.

It's really different from anything I've ever read, it's blunt, but still conveys a certain passion. Good shit.

And then today- I did... Nothing. Talked to the mother on the phone for a bit, but sat around otherwise. Hung with Pegleg today as well, first time we've hung in quite a while. Well- I'm sorry there is nothing to write about, and that's a shame, I really want something good to write about. Hm... Maybe.

- Josh.

Currently Listening: The Best Of REM - REM.

Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster.

Good morning everyone, it's 12:20 in the AM and I'm now 17.

So, let's think of the things I've learned or accomplished in my life:

• Learned "Get your knee off of my hair" isn't a metaphor.
• Watching porn with your babysitter makes for awkward conversation when you want to watch more after it's over.
• It's not fun getting hit with a toy lightsaber, even if you're the Sith and it's only fair.
• Growing up around reptiles, and fish gives you a different perspective of wildlife.
• Some things you have to learn on your own- like finding out that the water that is used for salt-water fish doesn't taste like table salt.
• Craziness is a virtue
• Screwing up plumbing and making it rain in your aunt's home isn't a present for their kids.
• Don't give up coloring a garden gnome's beard black when it's originally white or you must really come off as lazy.
• Just because you think your funny doesn't mean it'll come out the same way in an oral report in school, fuck.
• Dressing like a badass DOES work.

And I can tell you that everything on there is completely true. So- I got a call from Fred last night about five minutes after my post last night and he immediately started talking about the short script I sent him. We talked for a while about it. So if you want to know about it, it's essentially about a serial killer who goes to an AA meeting and confesses to everyone there, and then goes out to coffee with another person in the meeting, and some shit happens. That's it.


Well, I won't be seeing Christina today, but she gave me my birthday present today (Oh shut up, perverts), her dad dropped her off and she had a balloon and bag for me, I was pretty happy, I won't even lie. The entire walk to my house I would cross the street lacking hesitation of being hit singing "THEY SHALL NOT PASS!!!", and she acted fairly embarrassed. In there was a card telling me she loved me deeply, which is cute I guess. I kid.

Then there were two gifts for ol' Josh.

Number 1. The Collected Writings by Leonard Michaels.

I've been meaning to get my hands on it for quite a while, I read "The Men's Club" one time, and fell in love with the writing, I'm definitely going to start that the second I finish "My Boring-Ass Life" by Kevin Smith. So, I fell in love with her again for getting me that book!

Number 2. Wall And Piece by Banksy

This girl knows me all too well, fucking yes. Banksy is one of my favorite Graffiti artists of all time, I fell in love with her yet again in the same day.

Anyways.
We watched some Californication and then kind of just listened to music and chilled out.
She left- I came home, ate some dinner, and watched Lost, followed by Life. Now- it's 12:52 and I should really be in bed, but I might sit around for a while and do whatever. But- tomorrow will fucking suck, because I probably won't be with any of my friends, and I hate my family making a big deal about my birthday.

Until tomorrow (unless I get put in jail for murdering my entire family) - Josh.

PS: Late, no need for giants.

PSS: May The Giant Be With You.

Good Evening Chud Baby.

Well, I guess I'm useless. I didn't post last night. Fell asleep a little early, and just say fuck it for the most of the day. So I figured I'd go ahead and post for today, seeing as nothing will probably happen. I basically sat around and watched Lost most of the day. Real fun, you know.

Listening to the Beck and Flaming Lips KROQ Sessions. It's pretty cool, hearing a different perspective of Beck's music. People give me shit for listening to Beck, they say that he has no talent. Have you heard Mellow Gold?! Fucking amazing album. Another reason I get is "He changes his genre way too much." Big deal? I'd rather have a musician who changes his genre and makes amazing and provocative material than a band that cranks the same shitty music for 20 years. Look at U2, I don't like U2, fuck Bono. Big deal, he thinks he's helping the universe with his music and helping charities, well I see that- but the music is all the fucking same. They've been cranking out the same bass riff since the 70's. Beck can use a slide guitar in one song, and a synth in the next song. All of his material sounds different- maybe on the same album there will be similarities, but for the most part it's all quite different. He also uses so many different methods of music. Take a look at these two clips. Both are live.

Clap Hands - From Guero



Nausea - From The Information



While you may agree that there are some similarities there- the music is so diverse and different in between, that's why I think he stands out as such an amazing musician, although it's not hard to tell he's seriously fucked up in the head... He's also a Scientologist.


Anyways, well I've been sitting around all day with really nothing to do. I have a new experiment up in the air, but I'm not allowed to talk about it. Sorry mates, you know; the whole what 5 people that read my blog? I guess I do get some decent traffic for the blog's content (boring nature), but it would be great to have more I guess.

I finished "A" logo earlier and hopefully after some photo editing and stuff it'll be up. There is distinct mention of polar bears attacking me in it. I made it myself- Fred says anything I draw flabbergasts him, and it never makes sense, but he also says that he likes it. So he's useless.

In other news- I wrote a short. I sent it to Fred, and Christina last week, but still no word on what they thought of it (casually that means they hated it) but whatever. I like it. I don't like the ending though. I'm not saying a single fucking word about it until they tell me what they thought though. So, if you want to know what it's about for some odd reason, heckle them!!! Not my girlfriend so much, but feel free to heckle Fred until the world blows up. It's cool though, I've got another idea in my head, and some stuff that I might write.

Well, I think I'm out for a while, if all goes well I might blog again before the night is over.

- Josh
(No fucking giant here.)

Straight Outta Compton With A Crazy Mothefucker Named Ice Cube

The time is 9:26 PM.

Not much at all today, I swear to god winter really brings me down and keeps me secluded so much. I figured I'd just ramble about some random stuff for a while.

Christina and I were on the phone last night and, I can never make her laugh. I can make almost anyone laugh for some reason- except her. I mean I'm not angry actually I prefer someone who's just like "whatever" to anything I say than someone hanging around waiting for me to crack a funny. But- anyways I did make her laugh. I made a funny about her shitting on my bed and my grandma walking in catching her.... Anyways.

I haven't talked to Clay since the day I made that post about Eliza asking questions (http://theinnovationofsilence.blogspot.com/2007/11/retain.html). I wonder if that has anything to do with it? Eh, oh well.

My nose itches.

I'm not a fan of people who just put something down constantly (rather hypocritical right?). Let me explain. I know someone who doesn't like the band Hellogoodbye, which is fine. I like them and I think they're alright but whatever. Anyways my friend says they are trying to sound retro by using a keyboard... And? So what if they are? Plenty of good things came from the 80's, you know like... Black flag's "Damaged" LP, and David Bowie!!! But- I don't really take what they said to heart because they also said that Paramore is trying to act like a hardcore punk band.

As far as Punk Rock goes... I have mixed feelings on it. I like maybe ten percent of today's punk bands. Because I fucking hate Punk bands like The Casualties, or Cheap Sex. I think it's just shit. To quote the great Keith Morris; "I'm telling you all right now, and it's 2006. Punk Rock is fucking dead." Ain't that the truth. Real Punk is dead as Don Corleone. Not to say that there is no good ones left, I like a few of the new punk reinvention bands; Rancid, NoFX, Bad Religion, and well that's about it. And that's if you even consider Rancid and actual punk band.

Another thing that bothers me- a friend of mine (instead of using names at this point, unless I'm pissed; I will make vague references to people in this manner of saying "A friend of mine") is a hardcore Republican, he wants nothing but Republicans in the office and supports the evil that is George W. Bush. Which I could care less- but this person is so full of shit, and so hypocritical. They have the "Rock Against Bush" albums and listen to 3/4 of the bands on there and like their stuff... Now, unless I'm misinterpreting this... They are totally neglecting the message of the music in order to say "LALALALA no? What? These people DON'T like Bush?" I don't know, hypocrisy like that annoys me. They'll listen to those albums and those bands but, he watches the DVD's and watches the Stand-Up routines on there as well and says the comedians on there are full of shit and don't know what they're talking about, does this make sense to any of you? He'll listen to the band but when faced with the sad truth that the entire album is devoted to getting Bush out of office he'll ignore it? Jesus that's fucked up. I mean it's fine, but don't say the comedians are full of shit when you listen to the music that says we should hang him.

Well my dears, I believe it is time to call it a night a little earlier than usual. Leave some suggestions for things I can bitch about.

- Josh
(Nope, no giant.)

A Leper?

Good evening my cohorts in the eve of destruction- tis I the foresaker of human kind; Captain Snuggly Wummfles.

Yeah- I don't know. It's early right now- 6:16PM to be exact. Not much going on- still early, I might try to find something to do later- not sure.
Not much has happened today. Sat around mostly- waiting for a phone call. The winter bums me out you know, I don't get to go outside and run around or sit on a bench and watch the day pass without freezing to death. Regardless- I must make it through until Spring.
Maybe I just need something to keep me preoccupied... I sold my 360 and DS awhile ago- so no video games. But, I actually like it better that way. It keeps me in check with reality. I like it better honestly; even though I stay in touch with all video game news and listen to every 1UP.com podcast every time they update it.

I love video games, but they distract me from reality. I regret selling my 360 and DS but I hardly ever played them when I had them. I'll eventually buy something else- but I need a job first. Desperately. Maybe I'll sell drugs, fuck I don't know.

Or start playing WoW again, haha. No.

I just need to get out of the house I think. I want to start running again, but it's harder to breathe in this weather and constricts my lungs, makes me feel trapped.

I did watch Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

Good movie- severely fucked up and if you've never watched the show then it would make no sense, still good.

I'm quite happy I got a Blogspot, it provides an outlet for me to write, even though it is essentially about me bitching about how pathetic my life is and how useless I am; but like here is an older excerpt of mine from earlier this year taken from my myspace blog (when I wrote in it), it was about a month before I moved back to Ohio, and it's quite different from anything you'll ever read on here. Here it is:

------------------------
2-20-07
I was out with my mother all day, I really should savor these times. I'm a failure, I'm comfortable with it though, I'm not upset because of my sad litttle automated transgressions, I saw this cop poking this homeless guy with a night-stick, I thought to myself

Why can't you leave him alone?

He's already homeless, he doesn't need you fucking him up even more. Now I sit here listening to Less than Jake, thinking how maybe I want to move back to a small town because I miss the fact that I never have to see that type of stuff, I don't know man, I'm like Al Pacino in the Godfather Part 3, wanting to get out, but by nature; can't. Maybe I am as bad as those people on TV, whining about how daddy won't let them do something, yeah... Well fuck you, you've got a fucking mercedes benz that you crash because your fucked up on meth. too bad, I think I'm like them because they ignore the problems of the rest of the world, in order to make myself feel more stable, maybe I escape to a small town for those types of reasons. I might be wrong, I might be going back there because it's my safe area, because I never worry about failing because things might end up working like I want, or maybe it's because I can't stand the west Coast, nothing against the place, but it's fucked up by nature. Hot winters, Hotter summers, I figured nature intended cold winters and cold summers. I really don't miss my friends, I miss going to concerts, and to the mall, and conversating, but I've lived a long time without it, I'm certain I could do it longer. There's no girl waiting for me, There's no cure for cancer, There's nothing, but I still want to go back. I guess I'm fucked by nature.
------------------------------------------

2-21-07
It's 12:37 AM, yet I need this post.

My mother is drinking with her friends right now, I don't really care. It's her life, it's her body, if she wants to fuck it up, and destroy her organs it's her problem, just take it some-fucking-where else; I don't poison my body, I need my body. I plan on living I don't want slurs, and drunk words, and high ideas to cloud my vision, I've had that enough. It bothers me that people get drunk, here's the past few things I've heard.

"I love you so much guys!"

"You see this is my little sister"
[pointing to photograph]
"We just found out a little bit ago that she's not my father's child"

I heard that, and I hit that moment of transgression where I went: It's funny how much she really fucking cares, she'd tell her friends in a drunken slur; but not her son... I almost cried, honestly man, the drunkeness of society in general is a fucked conclusion, is it too hard for people to not drink? to go play video games, play pool, play cards, or even read... I honestly want to cry; why... just fucking why is it hard for me? Alot of parent's drink, I know this... But it bothers me because she's poisoning herself with what she likes... Can't people find a purpose instead of getting fucked?

I'm not quite "straight edge", I just limit myself, which is a comfortable position for me. I know people who are alcoholics and they aren't even 18; it's depressing how low their karma is man, I'm not preacking some psuedo-religious method here, I'm
only preaching what I know to be true.

They want to get drunk? Fine, fuck em' that only makes them easier to ignore, builds up your self-esteem, reminds of what goals not to achive in this life. If anyone is still reading I thank you, I don't care if people do read this, if so; thanks, if not; whatever.

--------------------------------

2-22-07
I can't do this anymore man.
Not quite sure why, I just can't face myself, I've woken up before; looked in the mirror and couldn't recognize myself, I could recognize my physical form, but not my spirit. I'm tired of being funny, tired of the laughter that I cause.

Andy Kauffman once got on stage and talked about how depressed he's been, and how he's a failure, people took it as a joke, he had to tell people he was being serious until they realized it's reality.

No one is happy go fucking lucky 24/7, myself included. I'd rather be monotone and taken seriously than being functional and funny.
At least then it wouldn't be a stretch when I write something serious, or poetic, or dark. It's a tough fucking nut to swallow when I can't even be taken serious by my peers.
------------------
2-23-07
It's 10:49, Sitting here.
Thinking.
Questioning
Wondering.
Pondering.
Screaming.
Crying.
Dying.
Living.
Hurting.
Loathing.
-------------------------------

2-24-07
I'm depressed, I feel useless. I feel fragile, I feel sorrow. I feel bothered by myself.
I feel like I'm the reason for war.
I feel like I'm the reason we have AIDS.
I feel like everything bad happens is an omen from god, torturing my soul, destroying my core.
Trying to break me.
I always end up putting on this facade.
Making the truth sound in the distance, like closed doors.
I feel like my anger, my sorrow, my joy, my tears.
It's all just a sad note in history of how I became a useless peice of garbage.
I think if anything good will happen to me.
I know it won't.
I know it can't.
I know people won't let it.
I know people won't let me in.
I forget what warmth is.
Touch is.
Peace is.

I won't let it break me.
I can't.
I'd be as bad as them. I'd be the evil.
The weary.
The weak.
The dead.
The living.
The Apathetic.
-----------------------------------

2-26-07
I'm scared, I'm afraid. I'm becoming what I hate.
I can't suffer it any longer.
I hate being alone, but I love isolation.
It's hard for me, I have everything I want, but not her.
She's too far away. Thank god, I'd only fuck it up even further.
---------------------------------------

2-27-07
I started listening to Loveline today, that's a real good fucking thing, hearing about other peoples' sex life. Maybe I should make an effort for it, I don't know. I don't care. I care but, I'm too afraid to try.
--------------------------------------------

2-28-07
Today was boring, I wish I could sleep all day, I think about only drinking nyquil to make myself sleep. Just so I can avoid contact.
I shaved my beard and sideburns today.
Now, I regret it.
---------------------------------------

It's weird for me to read that and know it was me. I mean I like the posts, because they were full of emotion and my feelings... But it's odd to read them. I don't really feel different about much of them, at least most of them. There are a few.
Anyways.

Well, I think I'm done for the day, I might post by the end of the night.


- Josh
(Still no Giant)

Well, The Evening Brings Us Closer To Another Day.

Right now it's exactly 11:01 PM here in Ohio.
I figured I might as well tell what happened on my gloriously boring day.


I woke up at one or so, if I don't have school then I'm not fucking waking up. Anyways- I wake up and kind of just sit around. About two- my grandmother calls me into the kitchen for a talk.

We discuss my terrible grades (and tell her I know) and we agree that I need to do better. After the talk I get online and talk to Matt about the blog (he's starting a blog up and becoming a part of the blog network I'm starting, but that's hush hush right now.) After a while, I eat dinner with the family and then go to the computer and watch some Lost for a bit. Now- here I sit.

There just isn't much to do on days like these.
Lay around and do nothing or party; and since I don't drink I have no need to go to a party. So- there is nothing to really to talk about, like many of my days lately.

I don't know; today I was kind of depressed too. I just felt sad and useless (which I pretty much am). Not suicidal depressed- just depressed where I want some change in my life. I don't know what kind of change, just something to make the days seem shorter and give me something to be happy about. I have Christina and she helps; but I don't see her that often, so I have a lot of downtime. I've just been bummed about a few things lately as well. I need a shower, I smell gross.

Anyways.
I'm tired, and depressed, and I just want to stop writing and do something else.


Love - Josh
(no more May The Giant Be With You for now.)

Let's Go.

Hello one and all, hope your all feeling hefty, hefty, hefty and full of turkey. I know I am (plus some Apple pie).
It's 12:30 on the dot right now and decided I'd update over here.
I've been thinking about doing this little project (although it'll probably never see fruition), I want to use my mic and record a bunch of different excerpts from my blog. I think it'd be fun, let people listen to my boring, emotionless voice on the go.

Anyways- today. Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuckaroo.

Jesus it was terrible (at first).

Well- I planned on waking up at ten which didn't happen. Instead I wake up at eleven from my grandfather outside my door going "WAKE UP!" I was already awake and told him to go away, instead he kept standing there screaming into my room.
I sat up and just said "I'm gonna hang myself today, I just know it, I swear to god I'm just gonna fucking kill myself, I hate them." so I get up and go to the bathroom. I shower and brush my teeth, and I'm standing there naked in my bathroom and say "I'm just going to have to kill them, aren't I? Give me a gun and I'll kill my entire family today, I swear to god."

Well- I didn't kill them.
I almost did. But- I didn't.

So, the day progresses. My Aunt Beth, Uncle Robert, Sarah (their daughter), and Cody (their son) show up around nine thirty while I was talking to whom I believe is Damon Albarn (Gorillaz, The Good The Bad & The Queen, Blur) and so I bail on that chat and head to see my familia. well, we lug everything into the house that they brought for Thanksgiving. Aunt and Uncle go somewhere so I'm there with the Grandparents, and the Cousins.
So we're standing there in the kitchen and my Grandma is getting something ready for me to take to the basement pantry, and then that little fucker Cody hits me in the back of the head.
IT IS NOT MY FUCKING DAY.
I've never wanted to skull punch another human in my entire life.
I said "I advise you never to do that as long as you live." and if you read my previous blog then you'd know that they are hardcore Christians'. Well everyone in the room starts laughing and I'm ready to kill someone at this point, but in a gesture of being a pacifist I drop my head and stare at the floor with my mouth closed. Broken. You know the worst part? He's 13. I could hit him and not get in any trouble, but you know what I don't want to hit him because I know being a pacifist means I should preserve peace (also they are hunters, so you know they're REAL "Americans") but I just wanted to skull punch him and laugh. I should have. Anyways.

Well, we sit around waiting for the food. And then we eat eventually.
Afterwards everyone comes into the living room and we talk for a bit.
They eventually leave.
I went for a walk shortly after.
Now here I sit.
I think I'll talk to Fred for a bit.
May The Giant Be With You - Josh.

You've Come A Long Way, Baby.

Good Evening/Morning

It is now 1:50 in the AM. I woke up about 20 minutes ago; it'll be one of those nights where I'm up and down all night long. That's fine, I have to wake up early. My aunt, Uncle, and cousins are coming in from Mansfield for Thanksgiving with us. It's my Uncle's first Thanksgiving without his mother- she died a few months ago. So my Aunt (my grandmother's daughter) thought it would still be best for some of the family to get to get together.

But- it comes at a price. They are HARDCORE, HARDCORE Christians. That means I have to watch what I say. I don't curse in front of my grandparents, but now I have to be 1,000 times more careful. I can't say the word "God", and you know the funniest thing? They don't know about my religious stance (I'm Agnostic, but I follow Buddhist principles) and my aunt and them would have a major fucking heart attack if they found out. I mean, I could care less- but I don't want to start a bunch of stuff on Thanksgiving in the wake of my Uncle losing his mother. So, I also have to take down my Bad Religion flag that's in my room- you know what? Fuck it. If they don't want to know they can close their ears and scream "LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!!!!!" if they can't deal with me not wanting to conform to their little book.

Jesus Christ, now this is driving me to talk about religion. Fuck. Well- I'll just give you cliffnotes. I find that believing in a spirit (god) is a good thing- but I find religion is a terrible thing that hurts people and alienates the world. Seeing how many wars have been fought in the name of religion (namely Christianity, Islam, and Judaism.) Anyways, I'll lay off of religion for the time being.

Well, what did I do today...

I woke up this morn around 10:30 after falling asleep around five this morning- I was up talking to Digi (from Dawn Of The Dude) about life, music, and everything in between. We talked for a while- then my computer tweaked out and it signed me off- so I explained to Digi, and headed to bed.

When I woke it was ten and I was laying there saying "I really hope my grandma just forgets and lets me sleep", but she heard me say it and made me wake up and do school work. FUCK. Well, I get up and around. I walk into the Kitchen and my grandmother is in the middle of cooking pies for tomorrow (well today technically) amongst them: Homemade apple pie, homemade cherry pie, and a chocolate pie (Whatever the fuck that is, just call is chocolate pudding and pie crust. That's all it is.)

Well- I sat around and did schoolwork then afterwards talked to Sammeh, Destiny, and Katlyn on Myspace for a bit, then called Christina. During my phone call Sam and I made plans to hang out- and in the middle of that Cameron made plans with me too, during the same time I would be hanging with Sam. Well, I tell Cameron to come hang with us, he said he would. So I get off the phone with Christina throw on some clothes and head outside into the beautiful dreary day.

I meet Sam and her sister Becca at Rite-Aid. We walk around for a bit- and Cameron never shows (lazy cripple). Well, it's around three and I have to meet Christina at four, so Sam and Becca opt to get ready to leave. They stop by my house first- and do one thing I'd never do-

I loaned a DVD of mine.
I NEVER, EVER loan DVD's of mine. I've put way, way, way too much money into my DVD collection and hate the idea of someone fucking with that. But- I trust her so she takes "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" season 1 + 2.

The second was a rather compassionate thing (compassionate enough to get an "Awww" from Christina)
Becca forgot her Jacket so I threw her one of my jackets- she's a good kid. I figured I'm hard on her enough- she deserves a warm travel home for my constant yelling at her.

After that I sat on the computer for a bit then decided to go up to The Falls and wait for Christina's arrival. I brought "My Boring Ass Life" by Kevin Smith to keep me company for a while. She shows up in time- about two minutes later it starts to downpour. So we cuddle up in the gazebo until the rain lets.

When the rain finally lets up we go to my house. We say hello to the Grandmother and then go downstairs. We cuddle up on the couch and just watch TV because it's raining and we can't go anywhere. It fucking sucks not having a car, not being able to go anywhere or do anything.

Regardless- around five we go and walk around till her dad calls to come pick her up. She leaves, and I head home. I ate some dinner around 8:30 and went to bed shortly after. Now here I am. What will I do now? Watch some Californication until I get sleepy.


Happy Thanksgiving everyone.



May The Giant Be With You - Josh.

Sunshine.

Well, good evening one and all.

It is 11:58 PM right now. I'm not remotely tired right now, but I should be in bed soon.
I'm listening to the new Scary Kids Scaring Kids CD, It's some good stuff. Usually not my particular favorite- but I dig it; I'm more of a Jazz fan. I like some Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Sonny Rollins, Otis Redding, Louis Armstrong; stuff like that, Old Soul and Jazz.

But, I dig a lot of new stuff too: Tom Waits, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, RANCID, Gorillaz (fuck you), The Good The Bad & The Queen, DANGERDOOM, Gnarls Barkley, Blood Brothers (sad they just broke up), Explosions In The Sky, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Prize Fighter Inferno (not much for Coheed though), Fall Of Troy, Beck, and a bunch of other stuff.

My favorite bands/artists are all dead/broken up: Black Flag, NWA, Dead Kennedys (I consider them broken up because there is no Jello), Eazy-E, Ol' Dirty Bastard, and stuff like that.

The only reason I'm rambling- because not much happened today. Same as the day before. I don't do much during these cold months (even though it was fucking beautiful today, and better tomorrow even though it's supposed to rain).

I figured I'd just talk and segway through some random stuff for a while.

This week is the induction of Thanksgiving, (Monday my fat, uber black ass will be on a diet, I'm not saying how much I weigh or how much I want to get to- but I'll say I was to lose 35 pounds, and I'll be posting them daily as a part of my journal, and I could use your support and prayers :P) and how do we celebrate taking Indians prisoner and stealing their land for hundreds of years? Eat like there is no tomorrow. It's weird how the American brain thinks.

Which brings me to the 2008 Elections. Personally, they are all pretty evil, and don't have to best of intentions- and I'll be turning 18- 14 days after the election. So I have to wait another four years for my pointless vote to take effect. If I were to vote it'd probably be for Democrat www.richardsonforpresident.com>Bill Richardson. He seems most honest to me, and he's green (not physically, but green as in global warming and pollution green). Because as far as I'm concerned the Republican party is Evil Incarnate.


So, with this... I'm bored. OH! I did finish the final episode of Twin Peaks tonight, it was wistful.

Here's a poem to go out to.

Through the darkness of future past

The magician longs to see

One chance out between two worlds:

Fire walk with me

May The Giant Be With You. - Josh.

The Owls Are Not What They Seem.

Well, as usual my posting sucks and I didn't get a second post up last night.
Sorry about that, but you can really fill that time in with any previous post where I talk about how I did nothing but watch TV and lay around. Jesus I'm boring.

May The Giant Be With You. - Josh.

So.

Good evening to those of you have decided not to commit suicide yet.

Sorry I didn't update for Saturday or Sunday, I wasn't busy or anything. Just lazy.

Well, Saturday I woke up at one (at the behest of Christina calling me, saying she'd be in soon) soon after I got dressed and headed up to the falls to meet up with her. We met up and because it was cold as all hell we went back to my house. We sat around in my room and just "hung out", and talked about stuff for a while. Around five we walked around town for a bit, until her dad came and picked her up.

Afterwards I went home and watched Twin Peaks then called Christina. We talked for a bit, then got off the phone. I watched two more episodes of Twin Peaks before going to bed around five AM.

Woke up Sunday at two PM (fucking late). I sat around and watched EVEN MORE TWIN PEAKS!!!

Ate dinner with the fam, and then watched some X-Files. Now it's twelve on the dot. I'm not very tired right now, so I'll probably sit around for a bit.

As always; May The Giant Be With You - Josh.


R

Retain!!!

Hi,

Well, it's 1:12 in the A to the M. I just got off the phone with Christina. She'll be in at like seven this morning. That's damn early. Oh well, I don't mind waking up that early to see her, not a big deal to me; casually I can fall asleep for about two hours and be good for the entire day. I decided before I watch some Twin Peaks to update the journal.

Woke up this morning as my previous post said. After my previous post, I kind of sat around and then finished up my classwork. After- I called Christina and we talked for a bit. I got off the phone and watched some Twin Peaks then Clay called and asked if I wanted to hang and stay the night, I said I might but I was going to shower. He called five minutes later and said that I could walk if I didn't take him up on his offer to get a ride out there right now (fucker). I said I was cool with walking (which I was), and then hopped in the shower. I finished my beauty regiment and then he called AGAIN, and said he was in and asked if I was wanted a ride, and he stopped and picked me up.

We get to his driveway when he mentions that his girlfriend (Eliza) read my previous blog post (http://theinnovationofsilence.blogspot.com/2007/11/blog-post.html) and that it said stuff he told me that he kept from her. I said "Oh, that's cool", because seriously what the fuck could I say? And then he said that I should tell Eliza that I made that stuff up, and I told him I wasn't going to. (but don't get me wrong, he didn't like cheat on her, or lie about something big to her, just little stuff) I'm not going to lie to Eliza and say I made stuff up when I most certainly didn't, and I'm also not trying to break them up because I don't want to lose good friend(s). I'm not telling Eliza what he said, not because of some odd promise, but because he should tell her, I'm not going to say anything to anyone about anything.

So I tell him that I'm not going to change the blog, or lie to Eliza (I may be many, many things- but a liar I am not), after which he threatens to expose the secret mentioned in that same blog post (look above) to the person the secret is about- what he didn't know is that I already told this person that Clay knew. And they didn't care.
(I'm really sorry if any of that was confusing.)

Anyways- we play some video games and then call Greg Witt he comes over and we all chill for a bit. I leave around eleven. I was walking home and a dog started chasing me, I evaded it and ended up home. Called Christina and now here I sit. Well, I believe I'm out to watch some Twin Peaks.

May The Giant Be With You. - Josh.

Sentiments.

Good morning, I'm tired.

Well, yesterday, I pretty much did nothing, I went to Clay's and talked Christina. That's really just it. Pathetic, maybe something interesting could happen in my life every once in a while, and I'd write about it, but until then... Sorry. Maybe if I got shot?

I was woken up at like 8:30 this morning by people talking on the phone, and I wanted to kill someone, hour and a half before I have to be up and people wake me up? I didn't move an inch the entire time, I just laid there, I'm not moving if I don't have to, nope.

My grandma came in at ten and woke me up, I said I was awake and she told me it was snowing, I said I didn't care, and she left. Then I said out loud in typical fashion:

"I hate my life"

Now I'm sitting here getting ready to get back to schoolwork. Maybe I'll post later today.


May The Giant Be With You. - Josh.

As You Were.

So, it's 3:01 AM right now, I woke up around 1:30 AM after falling asleep at like 10:00 PM, fuck I probably won't be able to go back to sleep for a while.
I really wish I had sleeping pills, god knows I need them (unless you never knew about my Nyquil addiction about 6 months ago, not fun.)

Well, I woke up around 10:30 AM, my grandma had a hair appointment this morning, so I had to wake myself out of bed, something which I don't enjoy at all. Usually, I wake up in a really, really good mood; but the second anyone says a word to me I go into dickhead mode, for example:

Person: Morning.
Josh: Fuck off.

That's what happens, I just like silence. I mean I can deal with people talking to me, but I have to wake up on my own; if someone wakes me up then I can be a dick, but if I wake up on my own I'll probably be in a good mood.

Anyways, yeah I woke up. Didn't do much schoolwork (all of my teachers had this regional conference thing) so I kind of sat around. Then I got angry.

I tried logging onto my Mediafire (it's a file hosting website where I put all of my files in case I need to back them up on my computer for some reason, okay fine it's mostly all music, whatever.) Anyways- I can't log on, so I assume my Mediafire has been deleted- along with about 200 of my files, so I was a little pissed.

I got over it and called Christina for a bit. We got off the phone and I showered and shaved. I like taking baths, I know that's a little random, but I like taking baths, even though you're essentially laying in your own filth, fuck it I'm comfy.

Well, I shower and sit at my desk naked watching Twin Peaks while drying off. I finish the last episode of season one and then get dressed. Fuck I love that show... Anyways.

I go up to the falls with a book My Boring-Ass Life: The Diary Of Kevin Smith by Kevin Smith, if you don't know who he is (which first means your retarded) , heres a picture of him:






















Or you may commonly know him as Silent Bob













If you didn't already know- he also writes and directs all of those movies. He's written Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, Clerks 2, and two new movies coming out within next year. It bothers me when people don't know who he is, he's probably one of my favorite film-makers (followed closely by Quentin Tarantino, David Lynch, Frank Miller, and George A. Romero). I mean, I've just met complete idiots who just think his name is Silent Bob and that's all he is, and while some may argue that, I disagree, he writes and directs those fucking films and ignorant stoners don't know what the fuck is happening... Also, I'm such a bitch whenever someone messes up movies, I'll give you an example;

This one time Clay wanted me to write this zombie film with them, and I don't want to co-write shit, especially an amateur film, I fucking hate people who can't write without other people, and believe me man I know what the fuck I'm doing when it comes to writing- it may not come out that way with my poor editing on my blog, but I'd consider myself a good writer. Anyways- I agreed to help him but told him I wouldn't help him write it, and well that's fine because he didn't write a single word, and then he says this "we'll do it like George A. Romero, he never uses a script." Oh motherfucker, I could have went off, because I'm so nostalgic for writing, but decided that going into semantics about how well written most Romero films are, when he thinks they're improv... Goddamn, anyways, sorry.

Where was I? Oh yeah, going to the falls to meet Christina.


Well, I'm sitting up there reading the book and I read a really sad excerpt about his father dying of heart-failure and I had enough of being depressed by funny man.
Christina gets there shortly after, and we walk around for a bit. We walk to my house and hang for a bit. Then walk around town for a few hours.... And then under the bridge she starts to..

*Insert private moment here that would get me hit by Christina*

After that she leaves, and I go pick up some Mountain Dew and head home. After getting home I sit around and get yelled at for getting mud on the carpet (my bad), I watch some Law And Order: SVU before heading to bed.

Now what? I think I might listen to the rest of this Fatboy Slim CD and watch some Twin Peaks.

Love - Josh.

I'm a bad poster.

Well, today is the 14th.
It's 12:02 PM right now.
I've recently became overly-obsessed with some TV shows, god I feel like a 35 yr. old unfaithful housewife. Like, it's not even that the shows I watch have a major piece in pop-culture history or anything.
Sure I watch House, My Name Is Earl, Scrubs, Life, and some others, and while I love My Name Is Earl I feel like such a fucking woman watching every episode of ER and tearing up when a cast member leaves, or when Luca Kovac comes back to the ER. Jesus Christ, I do think television is the source of all evil in this world, but I really don't care, I'm such a geek. I watch ER, and Monk and then go to IMDB.com to post about the new episode, Jesus Christ, haha. But, honestly, I love the storyline of the shows, and I think they're great... But, at the same time it's a Saturday (for example) and I'm sitting in my basement watching Season 8 of ER instead of going outside... Fuck I'm lame.
Another show I'm fascinated with- Twin Peaks. Now, Twin Peaks had already started and ended by the time I was born. If you've never heard of it, it's a show that only lasted two seasons, but was FUCKING AMAZING. It was essentially about a murder in a small town, and an FBI agent comes into town to solve it, but it's so amazing, and it's way too hard to explain. I'd call it the precursor to The X-Files (another of my favorite shows).
... Anyways.

Yesterday.
That's right.
Well, I did my schoolwork, then called my dear, dear girlfriend Christina. We talked for about a half hour, but I had a massive headache, so I got off the phone and laid down, I put some Twin Peaks on the computer screen to help me sleep. I woke up later, called Christina, and laid down on the couch and watched Reaper, and House.
Afterwards I sat around and did nothing, then headed to bed with all of my windows open, because it felt good.

BORING!!!

Monday- and now.

It is 10:25AM, and I woke up about, eh a half hour ago. I fell asleep early last night, so I figured I'd update now.

Well, I woke up and did my morning ritual, the some schoolwork. Afterwards, I called Christina and we talked for a while, but I got sleepy and told her I'd call back.

I was just dozing off- when Clay calls, he asks if I'm coming over and I say later on (which it ends up raining later, and I'm not walking through the fucking rain to his house anymore, got me sick). Well a few minutes later, Katlin calls and asks if I want to make a trip to Shop and Save, and Circle K with her. I agree, because I don't really get to hang with her that often and we used to quite a bit.

So, we get to Shop And Save.. and her dad wants ALL the white tea in the store. ALL of it. So, we go to the back where the 6 packs were, and we get like 49 of them, altogether that's 294 bottles of White Tea. So we carry them out to the car, and then hit Circle K. We drive around for a bit (for some reason she's trying to get lost), and then eventually drops me off at home.

I eat dinner, and then watch some Twin Peaks, before calling Christina. We talk for a half hour or so, then get off the phone. I watch some more Twin Peaks before heading to bed. A fairly uneventful day.

- Josh.

Soap.

So, I was thinking about a few things- and thought of this, what are the top five fictional TV characters I'd like to hang out with for a day.


5. Fox Mulder from The X-Files.













What we would do:

Prove to everyone that aliens exist and the government knows.
Or maybe watch TV and feed his fish.

Where we would disagree:

He would want to get on a jet to fly to the antarctic and uncover glacier caves, and I'm just not down for that shit.

Why it would be fun:

Come on- it's Agent Fox FUCKING Mulder!!! There's never been more of an alien abducted badass (other than Tom Cruise), plus he nailed Gillian Anderson (for the X-Philes!)

How the night would end:

He'd either drop me off at home, or I'd be put into a cryogenic freezer below the surface of the world, and he'd rescue me.

4. Dr. John Carter from ER






















What we would do:

Work in the ER saving patients while getting to know their life stories, and have an angst filled day that would probably end in a cliffhanger.

Where we would disagree:

He would want to perform an emergency surgery and I would struggle to maintain that common practices such as medication would mean no surgery and possible save the life of a patient.

Why we would have fun:

Because he's smart and he went to Africa to save people.

How it might end:

With a preview for next week that would claim to be the most unforgettable episode ever that you don't want to miss.

3. Adrian Monk from Monk























What we would do:

... Clean his house, sit quietly, watch him fidget. SOLVE MAJOR CASES!!!


Where we would disagree:

He wouldn't want to touch a car door because of all of the people who have died from opening a car door.

Why it would be fun:

Because he's a cool detective with an impressive Jew Fro.

How the night would end:

With him figuring out who killed a person by saying "Here's What Happened"

2. Agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks





















What We Would Do:

Eat cherry pie, hang in the red room.

Where we would disagree:

He would be constantly reciting to me Native American folk-lore while also talking into his voice recorder.

Why it would be fun:

Because he knows who killed Laura Palmer and how to choose some good pie.

How the night would end:

Terribly, due to bad ratings in the second season.

1. Earl Hickey from My Name Is Earl






















What we would do:

Hang out, solve list items, kick it at the crab shack with Randy, Catalina, Crabman, and Joy.

Where we would disagree:

He would want to give the money away to some girl who he made angry in fourth grade.

Why it would be fun:

Because he's an everyman, he'd be fun to drink with, be fun to sleep in the same bed with, you know.

How the night would end:

With him crossing something off of his list and talking to Randy right before sleep.

(I know this probably sucked, but it's the first thing I've ever really done non-journal entry wise, so give me some time to get the hang of it and get better at writing them.)

It's always better.

Well, It is 5:59PM here on a dreadful Sunday evening. As Winter draws nearer and nearer we are forced to notice the turning of a season into a cataclysmic darkness and cold every day.

Remember summer? It got dark at like 9:30PM, now it gets dark at 5:30, or even earlier sometimes. It's kind of dank and depressing, but I'll still be here posting!

I'm slowly trying to turn my blog into something popular- but I realize that doing that is impossible, because I'd need a niche. Which I don't need/want. This blog is essentially about my day to day life, and the truth that not much happens. For instance this brilliant writer Kevin his website http://pointlessbanter.net/ is a great website- and it's essentially a humor blog. I don't really want to do that, because I can't. I guess I'm funny, but whenever I write it's harder for me to be funny, I'm better at just making up my funny stuff on the moment (Improv). For the most part- my blogs are depressing. Which I want to change, but that is easier said than done. I can't just stop being depressing and make my blogs light-hearted and happy.

Right now, I only know one person who bookmarks my blog and checks it, and that would be my friend Cameron. Which is great, because I know he reads it now, but I'd like people to make some suggestions to me about my blog and what I could improve on, because I notice that this blog is rather 2D, it's basically just what I think, because it's my writings and my journal.

I hate saying I'm such a whore that I want people to tell me what they want to read- but it's kind of true. I'm not looking for mainstream popularity, but I just want to be recognized.

Maybe I'm conceited.

Feel The Gold.

So- It's 11:40 PM and I'm getting ready to head to bed- but decided to update my entry for the day.

Woke up around nine AM with the sound of my grandma running the vacuum outside of my room; ten minutes later my grandpa calls "Josh are you awake?!", I of course say- "No!" and then roll out of bed and put on an old hoodie and a pair of jeans.

Walk out into the kitchen and of course- fucking starting in on me and I just ignore people fucking with my head this early. After a while they tell me I need to shape up my attitude, to which I reply"Oops." after that my grandpa and I go to my uncle's and continue our job of cleaning scrap from his backyard (bitches work)- we finish a load and it includes a bunch of random metal and me lifting a tractor (riding lawnmower) onto the bed of the truck.

We take it to the scrapyard and go back for another- which includes a gas tank (the type that are used for people without central gas in their home- heavy motherfucker) and an AC unit which gets dropped on my foot.

After that load, we stopped and headed home.

My grandmother tells me Clay called while I was gone, I considered not calling- but decide to, and he asks if I'm up for some game, I say yeah, and I call Christina to tell her- and then go shower.

Afterwards I head over to Clay's and he says sorry for what he said the previous day- at least he apologized. Well, everything the rest of the day went fairly well.

I came home, called Christina, ate a hamburger, and here I sit.

Maybe I'll have something interesting for you tomorrow. - Josh.

इ'म जुस्त बीइंग म्य्सेल्फ़, इ'म जुस्त दोंग वहत इ दो.

So, hello dear readers- tis I! Captain Josh-O-Man.

I'm sitting here listening to some Tim Armstrong, and I figured I'd update what has happened in the past 13 hours!!!

To be completely truthful- not much at all.
After my post I sat around and pretended to do some schoolwork (like you've never done it) then called Christina.

After we talked I sat around on my ass, then Clay called he asked if I wanted to come over- I didn't really feel like it, but I decided it would get me out of the house- so I left and headed over there.
We played a bit of COD4 I was owning quite well, but then Eliza came over (not blaming my losing streak on her) and I just got knocked off focus, because I don't do all that well when other people in the room are carrying on a conversation- because I feel apt to converse and input there while still trying to kill insurgents.

Now- ever meet a person that will just seriously start just fucking making fun of you the second a new person or someone specific walks into the room? Well... Clay did that. And, I was cool with for a while because he was just trying to look cool in front of his girlfriend- whatever, it's fine.

Well, I keep playing and being told "You Suck At Life.", "FUCKING USE YOUR SIGHTS!!!", and other things and I keep just saying "Yeah, I guess I suck" and just trying to shut him the fuck up because it's senseless to act like a moron in front of his girlfriend. Still- I understand he's just trying to act cool, and I could give a fuck less.

Now- not to segway out, because the story isn't over, but... do you have/ever had a friend of yours that you tell everything in your life to? Well, I trust(ed) Clay because I thought him and I were friends- god knows he's told me things he doesn't want Eliza to know, and have I ever mentioned them to anyone? Nope. Not because I don't want to get him in trouble with her, but because It's just no ones business, if someone would've asked that I trust and wouldn't tell on him, then I might say something- but for the most part I won't tell a single soul.

So, I find out that the one thing that actually means something in my life is told to him by me- he told Eliza, now usually I wouldn't care, I might be irked because he went behind my back and told her what I told him in confidence; but- this is the worst part for me. I'm playing a game of Team Deathmatch when he says what I told him (I'm not saying it on here- because it's that personal to me) not only in front of Eliza... but in a way making fun of me, and... They both start laughing. Now, I refuse to say what the secret is- but it's about a person I love very much, and what happened to them... And, I just stared ahead for a few seconds still playing, but a little blacked out with rage inside. I toss the controller on the space on his futon next to me, near where Eliza was sitting. I begin to stand up while they're still laughing and say "Yeah, I'm leaving now." he says "No you're not." like I'm bluffing, I say "Fuck off." and walk out.

I'm really not trying to complain about my life- but it kind of hurts that a person I trust so much would betray me like that- you know- I considered telling Eliza all those things, but figured that I didn't want to sink to his level.

I have nothing against Clay- but it goes to show how your true friends (or so you think) can truly be assholes. He calls my house, I'm not going to talk. I refuse to unless the first words he says are an apology. I've forgiven him, but I need to know that he feels bad about what he did- and I guess I'll never tell him another thing in my life.

Anyways- How was your day?

P.S. - The subject line is written in Hindi.

You Look Like Serpico.

So, I guess this will be what happened yesterday- woke up, did schoolwork, then called Christina. We talked for a bit about some things.

Afterwards I fell asleep and Clay came over- we went to his place finished Halo 3 on Legendary then went to Pamida to pick up Call Of Duty 4, where my bud Katlin was working, I talked to her for a minute or so, before Clay purchased the game. We were sitting at Clay's and he started being a dick so I left (not unusual).

Came home- watched some TV and went to bed. Not much really happened yesterday. Sorry.

Wensdizzle.

So, here is blog 1 of 2 that will be released before I hit the sack. This one is my day (Wednesday).

Woke up at ten, did school work. Watched Dexter (which is fucking amazing) then sat around and did nothing for a really, played some SNES and then went up to meet Christina at The Falls. We hung around for a while, stopped at Subway then went to Clay's for some Halo 3 and COD3... And then my mind fucking blew up.

I was sitting there playing CTF with Clay on my side and we were against Jeremy and his brother... When I happened to look over at Christina texting Sean (her friend Jennifer's girlfriend) and I just glanced and saw "I luv you too" and I was like "That's odd, but whatever." and just kept playing... Until I looked again and saw what I thought said "Can't wait till later to have sexx." and you know... I just couldn't focus on the game any longer; I played another game and we left because I couldn't focus and I didn't want to fuck Clay out of EXP.

Any common person would say something about it, but I was rather cold and quiet for a long time until she conned me to tell her, and I don't know. I trust her, but I think (and I could be wrong) that in every guy there is a small piece of matter saying "BE PARANOID" it turned out to be nothing, and apologized and felt terrible, and I still do. I didn't trust her, I should have.

Well, we came back to my house, she posted in her journal and then we left. I walked her up to meet where her dad was picking her up and they left. I stopped by Rite-Aid for some 7up and EGM.

Came home, watched Superbad then watched Life and just been sitting around since. Now, I will be posting my second blog for the night in about an hour or so- if I don't fall asleep first.

Tuesday, and some updates.

Well, first I'll give some updates. The banner isn't done yet, there are still a different ones I'm working on, so who knows. As for the podcast, not sure if I plan on doing that, I mean- I might, but right now I probably won't. It'd be a lot of work and stuff to do other than school, I might eventually though.

Tuesday? Fuck. To be completely honest- nothing. Woke up at ten, did school work; updated the blog, and called Christina we talked about something that I'm not yet to disclose, but after she says it's alright- I promise I'll let you kids on it.

Afterwards I kind of just sat around, ate dinner then went to Clay's house were we agreed that Team Rockets on Epitaph is complete bullshit. After that, I walked home in the slushy rain, and got hit by water from a car too close to a slant in the road.

Came home, got changed into something dry then watched House and Reaper. Now, I don't know. I'll probably sit around for a while then retire to my sleep land.

I'll talk in the morning. - Josh.

So. Some updates then?

Well, I realize that this may be a dumb idea, and I'm very aware of that, but I still wish to try it. My blog is very unpopular, not unpopular like I condone child molestation- but unpopular because no one really knows about it, because no one really knows who I am.

So, I really want to get my blog read more often, and it's hard because:

1.) My shit isn't that interesting.
2.) I'm 16 no one cares what I think.
3.) I'm not a celebrity, I'm just some weird kid with a big opinion and a big ass.


But, I really want to get this thing read more. So, I'm going to make some banners that can be posted to Myspace and your blog, your page whatever, of course I'll support you and add your stuff to mine as well. It's only fair.

In other news: I'm starting up a Podcast (in an attempt to get more reads), but it won't be available on Podnova or iTunes or anything, it'll just be up for download here. I might have one finished by the end of the day (tuesday the 6th) so, check back later today, and PLEASE start telling people about this, I really want this thing to work.

I'm such a whore. - Josh.

I'm brilliant.

Well, some of you may know my recent trouble with my computer, well I solved the problem. Now- I feel fucking brilliant. I'll tell you what I did.

My school computer has a block on all sites non-educational. So, I decided to use the other computer (my grandparent's slow as hell computer) to use for iTunes and stuff, but it wouldn't work. So I tried stuff like Gtkpod, and sharepod, and some other stuff, but nothing worked... Then I realized that I could use my iPod as a flash drive, and figured I'd just transfer music that way to my other computer, then I figured I could do the same thing and use it with Firefox installer.

So I downloaded the Firefox installer and put it on the iPod's drive, and then hooked it up to my school computer, and it worked. I was able to install Firefox, so I'm back in business.

So- an update.

Well, if you read my previous post, I talked about how useless I am and how much I'm pissed at my school computer- not much has changed. Still pissed. But, I decided that if I can't get it fixed then it's no big deal, I'll just keep using this, no worries.

My blogs might be posted on some weird times though, so just keep checking back, because I probably won't be announcing it on my myspace for a while when I update.

Thanks if you're reading, I really do appreciate it. It gives me an outlet and I really like the fact that there are a select few of you willing to read my shit. Thanks. - Josh.

Sunday and some news.

Woke up around noon and did nothing, as usual. Sat around, and somehow I messed up my school computer- well I know how I did it; I was freaked because there was a virus in the computer (which I fixed) but I deleted Firefox because if the computer crashes then the school would know that I somehow bypassed the security and downloaded stuff ever since, so I won't be posting more than once a day till I figure out what I did to bypass it.

Anyways- I really just sat around and didn't do anything for a long time. Christina called and we talked for a few hours, then we got off the phone and I watched Simpsons, and Family Guy... God this sucks, I have no idea how often I'll be posting. Fuck it, sorry guys. I probably won't post till I fix my school computer, I fucking hate this. Later. - Josh.

Saturday the 4th.

Well, I woke up around 2AM Saturday morning and posted on the blog (which took about three hours because I was watching movies in between posting) and then directly after I finished Mike Kochman asked if I wanted to go for a morning walk around 4:30- I interjected saying "How about we wait till 5 when I'm legally allowed to be outside." He agreed and we met up at the Basketball courts at 5AM.


So, we met up there and walked to Circle K where he bought Pepsi and swept the floor because we didn't want to go back out in the cold. Eventually we went back out and walked around the park spotting Constellations before parting.

I came home and sat around and crashed about 7:35AM... I was then woken at 8:10... Mother Fucker... Jesus Christ... The Grandparent's told me I still had to help my grandpa. My grandma asked where I went because she heard the door open at like 5AM and I said "I was off in the land of Unicorns." well she got pissed but I wasn't in the mood to deal with people annoying me this early. I was on a tear the entire morning until I said my mantra. Well, there was a problem with the vehicle so we left a little late.

So, we go up to my Uncle's house where he needs this stuff taken out. So my Grandpa and I walk down there and find out it's a leech bed and it's wet and muddy, so we have to be careful. We get all of this steel (Including a conveyor belt that weighs 200 lbs. we later find out that I carried up the fucking hill myself). We take one load up to the scrap yard and come back to get another load, it was all Aluminum. So we finish that load and call it a day.

We get home and I get changed and notice I have like cuts up and down my arms from getting poked and prodded with steel carrying it up the hill. I call Christina and kind of freak out because she's talking to people while I'm on the phone with her (It's not her fault, just my pet peeve.) so I get off the phone and shower.

Christina calls and tell me her and Jen are on their way into town so I head up to the falls and wait; drinking some Sobe trying to wake up. Well, they get their, and I don't know if it's because I'm tired beyond infinity or I'm actually annoyed- but I didn't want to really be there. It's not Christina or Jen, I'm just not feeling too well and I'd like just some peace and quite instead of two girls giggling and joking around.

So I'm a bummer most of the day, but we walk around town for a while seeing as it's Jen's first time in NF ever. We end up at the park, and I begin to get annoyed very, very, very badly. I don't want to go into details, because it's not a big deal, but I was kind of just feeling like shit and I would have much rather just spent the day with Christina (no offense to Jen)... Time for a name drop, we were sitting next to the courts and One Of My Best Buds' Katlin!!! Drives By!!!! Christina's dad calls and says that he'll be there, so we make it up to the Falls and see them off. I then head home, eat some pizza then crash around 8:30, but I wake up around 1AM, but I'm still tired, the Nyquil type tired. So, I think I'll watch some TV and crash. Have a good Sunday kids. - Josh.

Friday.

Hey there kids, I guess I'm here to give you the update of what happened yesterday (Friday), but first I want to talk about a few things... Namely- downloading music.

Now, I think that there is a bit of a difference, downloading music is no better than ripping one of your friends' CD's on to your Computer- and I'm guess more than one of the readers have done that, or maybe you participate in things like Limewire? It's cool with me, I'd just be more worried about a virus than the police.

Ever since the authorities have really started to bear down on downloading- more and more musicians are starting to shy away from their record labels;

Radiohead has their new album available on their website, but you decide how much you want to pay. Isn't that great? It's the death of the record industry slowly crumbling to their feet.

Trent Reznor (NIN) has just produced an album with Saul Williams called Niggy Tardust, for: $5... or FREE. That's right, they're giving the album away, which since they are being so cool about it I'd probably give the $5 bucks, but- there are perks with the $5 edition- it has an enhanced quality (I think 520 over the 320 free version) and a larger digital booklet. Reznor has already stated that the same thing will probably happen with the new NIN CD.

This actually means that it's a artist friendly, consumer friendly ideal. We will be dealing with the actual musicians instead of dealing with money hungry bastards.

.... Anyways.

Friday I woke up, did a little schoolwork then watched Knocked Up. After that I called Christina, then fell asleep. Cameron came to my home and woke me up and then we walked around the Ville of Newton Falls.

Cameron called Katlyn and we all hung out for a bit, and Cameron and myself recorded a ringtone on her Cellphone and it was he and I have steamy gay sex, oh it was wonderful. Well, we eventually got tired of the cold and parted ways- I came home Christina called and we talked for a while and got into a fight but I can't remember why... Anyways, I just kind of crashed afterwards and woke up around 3AM.

So- I have to go help my grandpa in a few hours move this stuff to a scrap yard (Yes my fat ass can lift shit) anyways, I'll write up here a little later.

So- A Shout Out And Thursday's Input.

Alright- it was brought to my attention that I kind of only name certain friends on here, and it's not that I don't care about ALL of my friends but this blog is sort of an input of the biggest things that happened in my day, which sadly- some don't fit into, but yesterday I forgot to mention one of my best buds- Katlin. You know I love you like a sister and I'd do anything for you- and from now on I'll try to mention you more, so stop telling me your not in my blogs. To be fair, all of my friends deserve mention- but my mind is tired, and if your reading this and you are not being mentioned- then hang with me more and we'll see.

Anyways.

woke up around 4AM or so, I can't remember it could have been earlier. I posted a blog, gave Christina a wake up call around 7AM (which I think made her mad) then I kind of hit the interweb for a while, then worked on school work for a while. Watched this insanely funny video on thosearentmuskets.com funny guys. Well, after school work I kind of fell asleep.

After I woke up I still just sat around- ate dinner then fell back asleep. Sam called when I was asleep and told me to go for a walk with her and her sister Becca. So I got out of bed and walked around in 30 degree weather in shorts.

Got back from that and watched My Name Is Earl, ER, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, The Office, and Scrubs. I've been hitting the internet since, well it's been fun, I think I'm headed out to bed.

Oct. 31st. (Halloween)

Well, it's 6:02Am, I've been up since about 3Am or 4Am. Well, I guess this would be Wednesday in review if I'm not mistaken.


Woke up Wednesday morning around 9AM (First REAL night of sleep in quite a while). Did some schoolwork and posted on IMDB.com and RARmy.net for awhile too. Grandparents had some court hearing today about Custodyship of yours truly. They left around 1PM or so for that- so that meant I got to get out of classwork early. So, I decided to shower, and shave... But first, I kind of just walked around my house naked, I'm not completely sure why, but I did, then I decided to shave my pubes while watching Scooby Doo Meets The Boo Brothers, needless to say- I ended up needing to get the Vacuum out of the closet to clean the living room carpet.

After that I got a shower and called Christina to see what time she was coming in and stuff. So after with that done, I got dressed- Grandparents got home, got into a fight with my grandma. I was sitting in my room and I told her earlier that Christina would be in around 4PM and I was sitting in my room she was in the kitchen, here's what went down.

Grandma: Josh!
Me: Yes?!
Grandma: It's 4!
Me: Congratulations!
Grandma: I thought Christina would be in at 4?
Me: She said she'd call when she got in Grandmother.
Grandma: Oh okay, you didn't say that.
Me: Thank you, I can handle it!
Grandma: What are you talking about?
Me: I can handle it pretty well thanks, I'm not an infant.

And you may think "Josh you're an asshole." and hold up- because when I can't stand answering questions that don't really affect the situation, like "What was the area code where you live?" and my reply would be "Why?" now, if this imaginary situation meant this person wanted to call me, then I'd have an actual reason to answer it, but if they are just wondering because of some stupid fucking nervous disorder that means that they have to pry into every little thing in my head then it's not worth my fucking time. And it's not because I don't care, but I have to explain:

When I lived in Arizona, I had the run of the house because my mom and Jay were always working, I loved it! I loved having such independence, mostly because it wasn't left up to me- but I was encouraged to clean and stuff and it was fucking good, they didn't ask useless questions and I didn't pry into their lives. I love independence of just a quiet nature.

I don't know- anyways. After Christina came in we sat around at the Falls for a bit then headed out to me house were we again just sat around- then started watching Shaun Of The Dead. Kind of just stopped watching it, I wanted to go walk around and see people in their costumes- I love that, the one time of year you can go around beating on people's doors asking for food without getting an odd stare or two. Well, we walked around for a bit then went uptown where the Halloween Festivities were taking hold, we stood around up there and talked to some people and stuff, then headed up to The Falls to escape the crowd. We hung around up there till her dad came to pick her up.

Made me kind of sad to see her go, we've been seeing each other more a lot lately, which I really like. But, I don't know if she knows when I'm kidding or not. I kind of have a very, very dry sense of humor and it's hard for some people to understand that I'm kidding, that's kind of why I feel bad a lot. Mostly because it's not her fault that I'm being an ass, I'm just being an ass by nature. But, truly, I'd give up anything in this universe for her, I would. It's odd for me to say because there's a lot of stuff out there that I really appreciate. I appreciate having quite a few friends and people knowing me, and my sense of humor too, but I'd give up all of that for her- and I'm sure if/when she reads this she might go "Don't do that", or "You wouldn't" or even "I don't want to make you feel like you have to." But honestly, none of that has a part of my life without some force driving the other.

Anyways- sorry about going off topic. After she left, I walked up town I saw Cory Snyder, Johnny Baker, Lauren, Bev, Sarah, and someone else so I stopped to say Hi and we talked for a bit till Johnny, Cory and their friend left, Bev gave the phone to Sarah (Carey was on the phone) and for some reason I forget why I just started screaming into the phone "Fuck that Carey bitch, what a whore." and stuff along those lines- hope she knows I was kidding, I'll apologize later.

So, afterwards Lauren gave me a ride home, and then I sat around till I fell asleep to Henry Rollins. All in all, a pretty swell day.