Let Those Stupid Birds Fly

Right now it's 9:52 AM, and I haven't written since Thursday.

I haven't been "busy", but there's just been too much to write about so I kind of procrastinated it for a while, there's also a lot going on with me lately too. Stuff I'm not comfortable to talk about, but anyways.

Highlights from the weekend:

1. Going to Taco Bell at 10:30 at night with Derrick and Cameron.

2. Sitting in McDonalds for too long.

3. Driving home from Taco Bell with the convertible roof down in 30 degree weather.

Okay, well maybe nothing TOO interesting happened, but I still had fun.

One thing that did happen (again), I got into another retarded music argument with Matt.
I posted a bulletin and it was the Otis Redding song "Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay" on a video, an absolutely awesome song in my opinion.

He replied to the bulletin saying this:

I prefer anything over Otis Redding.

OLD PEOPLE MUSIC.

Who gives a shit if it's "old people music", it's still an awesome tune. That type of music doesn't even exist anymore. 3/4 of the music is so over-dubbed and over-produced that it sounds like Stephen Hawking was singing it!

It doesn't matter what generation you come from, or what year- good music is still good fucking music.

There are no more Miles Davis', Otis Redding, John Coltrane, Marvin Gaye, The Temptations, Sam & Dave, and so many others.

Jazz and Soul are pretty much dead as far as I'm concerned. There are still SOME good musicians for both association, but the rough, real sounds of just a simple mastering are far past dead.

Well, I saw him yesterday and he started making fun of Otis Redding and my tastes in music again... so, I started making fun of his, but he couldn't defend himself:

Matt: Go listen to your old people music, your Otis Redding.
Me: I will, at least that music is understandable not "BLEH BLAH BREEEEE BRUHHHH LAH LUH LEHAHHA BREE".

Because mind you- he's pretty much an "awesome" scene kid, straightens his hair daily, listens to all of that uber cute grindcore, but he's a good kid. He's just dumb.

He reads this blog too.
He never said for me to stop, so I won't.

Unlike one of my previous posts, I'm not gonna go out of my way to write about how much I hate that music, but for some reason it keeps getting brought up and I keep writing about it.

Shitty music will always be shitty music.

Now let's go listen to Panic At The Disco.

- Josh.

Black Caddy.

Good afternoon everyone.

Right now it's 3:15 PM.

I had an odd dream last night- not bad, just... different.

I don't especially want to go into it, but- it kind of made me think a lot, about stuff in my life.
As far as what happened with Christina yesterday- I'm over it.

I'm ugly, now we can all move on with out lives.
There isn't too much on my agenda today, big surprise there.

So- I got into a semi-argument yesterday with a friend of mine named Matt. I was talking to him and Cameron and I just said that "Salt The Wound" sucked ass. To which Matt sauntered over and said "Did I just hear Salt The Wound?!" like a trekkie who just met William Shatner and was told that he'd be making a cameo in the remake. So I once again said that they suck and well fuck this is the conversation:

Matt: Did I just hear Salt The Wound?!
Me: Yeah, I said they suck.
Cameron: They're awesome!
Matt: Yeah, they're good!
Me: Only if you like to hear "BLEH LAH LUH BLAH THUH BLAH BLAH BLEEEEEEEEH BREEEEEEEEEEE!"
Matt: Sorry it's not awesome as your Beck.
Me: At least Beck can make more than one song without sounding the same.
Matt: But that's cool!
Me: If you have a mental disorder maybe.
Cameron: What about Cholera?!
Me: They suck too.

Jesus Christ, I mean- fuck, how can people listen to that brain-deaf retard habit shit?

I know I've talked about it before, but it's music without meaning. Music without purpose.
The way I see it is that these "grinds" if you will, took everything shitty about every genre and decided it would be fun to put them together.

They decided to use shitty vocals and asshole drunk singers from Punk Rock.
They use shitty synth players from 80's glam rock (which glam is terrible as well).
They took the girl pants from emo.
They took the bad breakdowns from REAL metal.

It's essentially like everything shitty from every genre just cluster fucked into one group.

In this wake; I will be conducting an experiment.

There are two grindcore vids below. Two different bands, BUT THEY SOUND THE FUCKING SAME.

1. Furtive Monologue by Despised Icon


2. Traitors Never Play Hangman by Bring Me The Horizon




Maybe it's just me- but that shit sounds the fucking same.
I like innovation, and improvisation.

Now, it's time for the second part of the experiment.
For this- I'm going to use one band and show how different two songs can really be.
If two different bands sound the same, then shouldn't one band always sound the same?

1. Nihilism by Rancid.



2. Time Bomb by Rancid.



One could note the voice and some repetitive chords- but it's going from a very punk driven song to a very ska and reggae oriented song.

Why can't people who dig their "Salt The Wound" realize that it's just repetitive music, and that there is enough of the bullshit out there without their help.

Even dicks have feelings.

Five minutes ago, I was feeling pretty good.

Now, I feel like shit.

Inadequate
Ugly (duh)
Useless

Ever gotten that lump in your throat, and it sort of hurts to swallow? That's such an odd feeling.

I've always had this philosophy, make fun of yourself so that no one else can.

Then... occasionally you'll read things about yourself that DO hurt.
That DO make you feel like shit... like my ex (Christina, mentioned quite often on here), and her friend (Kate) and because some people never really think who the fuck is gonna read something- they post it in a bulletin... A bulletin which I read, which follows suit.

--------------------------

(noticed it on someones bulletin, randomly looking, kind of... hurtful... heh. )

christina: whats your favorite animal?
me: a three-toed sloth.



christina: thats so funny-because mines a wolf. and theyre much stonger.



me: alright?
christina: fangs. thats all I have to say.



-Kate googles picture of a three-toed sloth-
me: look at that thing! its beastly!
christina: it looks like my ex boyfriend.



me: wait..
-gets picture of douchebag and then pastes it next to the beastly animal-



WOW.



thats one striking fucking resemblance..

---------------------------------

If this was just one of my random ass friends I'd understand and I wouldn't REALLY care, but from a girl that I've always defended (even after we broke up) it... hurts.

Before I wrote this, I figured it'd be tit for tat- and fair would to call her a three toed sloth... but... I'm not going there.

I've kind of had it at this point, I fucking defend someone who goes around and apparently talks shit about me- and I fucking love shit talkers- BUT HAVE THE FUCKING DECENCY TO TELL ME.

It's bullshit.

I desperatly want to write something mean about her... but for the first time in my life I can confidently say that I'm not going down to that level.

Maybe I deserved it.

- Josh.

Change your attitude, BOY.

Good afternoon. It's 1:01 PM right now, and here I sit- at the computer.

There really isn't much going on to talk about today, just chilling out right now.
Yesterday was... yeah.

Quite a bit happened.
LOTS of details, very little to really mention- but I'll try my damnedest.

After I posted on the blog yesterday, I went and grabbed some Subway- where I got awkward stares because I was some weird kid wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and adidas- which isn't really out of my nature, but still people looked at me like I was a retard.

After Subway I hung around the house before deciding to go for a walk.

If you live in NE Ohio, then you know it was fucking windy all of yesterday.
I met up with a few cats at the park, and then Nolan (I've mentioned him before) showed up with no apparent agenda.

We hung around a while and then Nolan and I headed to his car because it was fucking cold.
The other people we were with started leaving as well- but they were headed to McDonalds... so... Nolan and I E-Braked at a 180 degree angle AROUND their group of 5-10 people, and picked three of them up (Katie, Katie #2, and Katlyn) and we headed to McDonalds listening to Fatboy Slim the entire way.

We got into McDonalds and Nolan parked in two spots with his car, normal fashion.

We went in McDonalds PROBABLY around 3:30 or so.
About ten minutes into sitting in there... a police officer came in and asked who was driving the Green Oldsmobile (it was Nolan's). The cop takes Nolan outside and talks to him for about ten minutes, while fucktards (Katie, and Katie #2) think it to be wise to chill in front of the window looking out at them, taking pictures.

After a while- the cop leaves... so does Nolan. Nolan goes across the street to the police station- where we are left to ponder.

45 minutes or an hour later- he calls Katlyn's cell and says that they told him to leave town.

We didn't hear much after that.

Katie and Katie #2 bail on Katlyn and I- but we still just hang in McDonalds. Anthony shows up, and we all hang out for another hour or so. By the time we leave it's 7:00 PM, Eventually I wander on home- after I tried calling and it says the number is disconnected (but you can still call out, but it won't receive calls, fucked up).

I get online- get into an argument or two- and decide to call it a night.

This morning I wake up to Spring Cleaning, and help out a bit- before my grandmother mentions my grandfather is pissed at me for whatever reason, and that if "I don't change my attitude, I'll be going back to Arizona", so- fuck.

- Josh.

Usual Suspects, Racism, and Vulgar words.

Good afternoon everyone.
It's 1:23 PM, here on a dreadful Tuesday afternoon.
Right now I'm taking a break from watching "The Usual Suspects", one of my favorite movies.
If you've never seen it- then it's impossible to explain. It's neo-noir, with unreliable narration.
It has one of my favorite movie scenes in a movie- ever.

Take a look for yourself.



AWESOME fucking scene.

Besides watching The Usual Suspects, there isn't much going on. This Spring Break is uneventful so far, and it apparently won't be getting much better.

Not much to talk about... but there are TWO things on my mind right now, so... read it, bitch. :)

1. Racism in America.

I'm not gonna go on a tirade about my thoughts on Racism, but- I find one thing fucking hilarious about Racism; the intelluctial retards who say we should "Ship all them niggers back to Africa".

Okay- fucktards, I'll speak very slowly- so your useless chromosome brain can follow along...

WE (us, you) Brought (took, like you did your daughters virginity) Them (those, they, other people) HERE (your trailer).

So anyone who wants to bitch that we should send people back to their countries- be well aware, more often than not- they're here BECAUSE of us. The whitey brought the black man here to America, so we could lay around and be lazy- and look at that whitey, the black man doesn't like being treated like shit!

ON TO NUMBER 2, BITCH!


2. Vulgarities.


We all curse, at some time or another... some more than others, but there are a few words that I can't think of proper curse equivalents for:

(1) Breasts

Women have them.
I can't think of a curse word that I actually like for the word breasts.

I hate the word tits, it's just childish and silly.
Boobs makes me feel like I'm 8.

Is there no good word for breasts that can be used negatively?!

(2) Vagina

Once again, women have them.
Once again, I can think of no word for it.

Cunt is rude, but I fucking love that word- though I don't like the idea of referencing a girls vagina on the word Cunt.
Pussy is archaic and kind of creepy sounding.

The only one that I can think of that makes a little headway is Vag (Vah-Juh).

I don't know. Someone help me think of curse words?!!?!?!?!

Yes!

So, good afternoon.
It's my Monday of my Spring Break- and it's really uneventful.

Yesterday was Zombie Jesus day, and I ate a bunch of Ham.

Today- I'm lazy and sleepy.

Lately I've been listening to A LOT of ska, I don't mind it- I've always loved ska, but it's weird going back to listening to music you've all but forgotten.

Ska is definitely an underrated genre, so much good music- not enough good listeners.
Music is one of the few things I'm confrontational about.

My tastes are rather broad- and I'll listen to just about everything, though I do have a few exceptions:

1. shitty indie pop like "Neon Neon", "The Hush Sound", and some others.

2. Grindcore, Metalcore, Cybergrind, Deathgrind, Goregrind, anything where the music results in pulsating bass beats and "BREE", "DIE", "ROAR", "WHEAT", and etcetera.

3. 80's glam metal, for obvious fucking reasons.

4. Anything generic, overplayed and idolized: "Say anything", "Red Jumpsuit Apparatus", "All Time Low", "Fall Out Boy (okay, I have to admit- I like Infinity On High), and anything played on MTV, VH1, Fuse, or other stations at a constant.

5. Shit metal like Otep, Slipknot, Korn, and others.

6. Shitty new rap like "Soulja Boy", "Dem Franchise Boyz", pretty much anything that someone with down syndrome and access to Garage Band on mac can do.

Maybe I'm just picky and idiotic, but I like music that has something worth saying. Not bullshit. I like stuff that you can dance (not HxC dance, faggot) and have a groovy time to.

It may seem as though I was picking on some people's taste, but fuck that.
You want to listen to generic, then be my guest.

If I had to go on record and say my top ten bands, it would go something like this:

(No order)

1. Beck
2. Black Flag
3. RANCID
4. Mighty Mighty Bosstones
5. Miles Davis
6. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
7. Wu-Tang Clan
8. Less Than Jake
9. Common Rider
10. Godspeed You, Black Emperor!

I'd say that's a rather ranging list.

You've got some Jazz, Punk Rock, Ska, Rap, Post-Rock, and some unclassifiable music.

I'd just like people to open their minds, stop thinking "Well, I'm wearing the t-shirt, I straighten my hair, and I'm wearing Nikes- fuck I should only listen to Spice Girls and Grindcore", and start thinking about opening your mind.

I'm not REPULSED by that music, that I made fun of, but I'd much rather listen to Wu-Tang Clan over Soulja Boy any day of the week.



What are your top 10 favorite bands?


- Josh.

The Name Escapes Me.

Good evening everyone.

It's currently 9:51 PM here on Friday.
It's been a bit since I've updated the blog, so- my apologies there. I just haven't really been motivated to do anything, let alone the blog.

I'm listening to some Mighty Mighty Bosstones, with a nice warm blanket around me.

There isn't too much going on worth mentioning. I've basically been fretting over school and laying around.

Like I said- there isn't shit worth mentioning- so allow me to talk about myself for a moment.
I wouldn't say girls are obsessed with me, but the kind few who do like me SOMETIMES have a hard time letting me go.


I inquired to find out why (which ended up a failed experiment) and then I just simply asked a friend of mine (who used to like me) why she "fell" for me... and I was rather astonished with what she said that I felt it needed to be put up here for the entire interwebs to see.

(I've censored her name, because I didn't ask for permission- and it would be rather rude to do so without her permission)

[15:06] J-Bizzle: so- I have a question.
[15:06] XXXX: huh?
[15:07] J-Bizzle: and this is a question I ask all girls who have dated me or liked me:

Why did you like me?

It sounds fucked up, but I'm very curious and no one can explain it to me.

[15:10] XXXX: cause honestly your a great guy, and u have an amazing personality thats hard to find in most guys. and girls usually go for the guys with the hot bodies, extremely cute faces, or who are popular, but once they talk to someone like you then they realize how stupid they were for like those other kind of guys. they realize they get screwed over all the time and it breaks their heart. so then when we meet someone like u, we feel lucky. we feel like hey not all guys are the same. and that u wont hurt us or anything. and ur not an asshole like all the preppy jocks that all girls go for. you can make us laugh and ur extremely comforting. and you know just what to say and u help us. and u make us feel good about ourself. to u it seems like the girl would come first to you then your ownself and it seems like u just arnt trying to get in our pants. and see when girls meet u they realize personality is the most imporant thing. and like i said ur personality is amazing.

I thought that was rather cute, I won't lie- apart from some spelling errors- though we're not all perfect. I like how she essentially worded it to say that I was a hideous chud- which I won't fight her on, but it's nice for some truth up in there, so I guess I'm essentially a conductor for women to help girls find a guy with an actual personality... which I guess I kind of dig.

I hope it doesn't seem too narcissistic, but I share mostly everything in my life on here.

I suppose that's all there is to report right now, maybe I'll find something new to complain about.

- Josh.

Moonland

Hello everyone.
It's 12:54 AM right now.

Today is St. Patricks day, a rather solemn day around my house.
Usually I'd never talk about this much... but, I kind of want to.

St. Patrick's day 2000- my uncle committed suicide by hanging himself.
He was 28 or so at the time.
At the time he was holding down a job at a local prison as a guard, he left behind a wife and a son.

I never REALLY knew him that well, I was little (10) when he died.
... it's not easy for my family though- especially my grandmother, with whom I live with (along with my grandfather).

Sorry if this post is bumming you guys out, really- but I never claimed to have a lighthearted blog, devoted to making you guys laugh.

It was weird and I think him dying was a turning point in my life- which is kind of helped me turn out to be who I am becoming.

At the time of his death, I wasn't really sad- I mean of course I felt remorse, a relative of mine had just died- but I was little, and like I said- I never really knew him.

I've been TRYING to sway from being egocentric and self-righteous here... but I think that I'm an odd person to find. I can't really say that there are many people like me- if so, and you're reading this- I'd love to meet you... but I think that I'm a little different than most people, which I dig.

The biggest reason to explain who I am- is because of the things that have happened to me in my life, in no way am I saying that I've had a viciously hard life, but... I've been through my own stuff, just as you all have.

1. The moment I realized I could talk my way out of ALMOST any situation.

2. The moment I realized it's easier to be nice to those who don't know you, and let them find out who you are the hard way.

3. The second I stopped believing in religion.

4. When I realized we're all fucked.

5. When I found out I would do what I'm best at, and fuck the rest.

6. Why and when I became, and learned to be my best friend.

ANYWAYS

enough of my self-righteous drab.

Let's heard from you!!!

Larry Went To Space.

Good evening all.
It was a rather uneventful week for my blog posting, I posted very little actually.

There just hasn't been too much to really report.
School, hanging out, sleeping, you know.

I'm listening to Nick Cave and The Bad Seed's new album "Dig, Lazarus, DIG!!!"

It's... awesome, but it sounds NOTHING like the older stuff.

I love Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, and it sounds more like The Grindermen instead of Bad Seeds.

I'm used to tunes like "Let Love in", "Red Right Hand", and others- but it's cool to hear them reinventing themselves like this, which is odd for a band that's been playing for decades now.

So- my weekend was alright. Went to a show last night, fairly lackluster- fun nonetheless.

Right now I'm catching up on "The Riches" before the new season starts Tuesday.

I'll leave you all a quote to go out on:


Sorry For The Inconvenience - God (Douglas Adams)

The Downfall Of Josh.

Good day Silencenauts.
I am back from the metaphorical grave.

Right now, it's 11:15 AM.
I just got my cable and internet hooked back up, phone should be up tomorrow.
It was a week alright, a boring, depressing, family-filled week.
Holy fuck do I have a lot to talk about, some of it happened BEFORE the stuff was internet was down, goddamn.
Where to start...


So, LAST saturday (not the 8th, the 1st) someone came by and said we needed our phone lines in our house replaced, and it could take up to a week. This was fine, but I'd have no way of communicating with the outside world other than the internet. It didn't take as long as he had expected and he was done on either Monday or Tuesday (whatever day the Ice Storm took place) and so I had phone that day.

WELL, I was on the phone with Sam when the power went out for a half second or so. That was enough to make the grandmother freak out though. She went down to the basement, got the Kerosene lanterns, and flashlights.

I got back on the phone with Sam for another 30 mins or so, then the power went out.

I was downstairs on the couch when it happened.
My basement was 100% pitch black. I went upstairs (carefully) and sat around listening to my iPod until 3Am and went to bed.

I woke up around 8AM and the power was still out, around 11 or so it came back on- but NO INTERNET, CABLE or PHONE.

I was pissed.

So, a few days go by without my modern conveniences -

Boredom, boredom, boredom.

Lots of catching up on DVD's I'd forgotten I own, and listening to some old cd's of mine- notably:

The Good The Bad & The Queen
Prize Fighter Inferno
Gorillaz (I like em)

I was basically lazier than ever during the point in which my internet and phone was down.

Eventually my grandmother's friend (who had everything working) loaned me her phone (Josh = broke) so I had contact again!!!

I hung out a bit with Cam a few days, Fred on another, Mike a few times, Sam once or twice- otherwise... Just laying around watching movies.

Here's a bit of the list of movies I watched o'er my hiatus:

Kill Bill vol.'s 1 + 2 (I hadn't seen them in so fucking long, it was awesome)
40 Yr. Old Virgin (cute)
Superbad (Fuck my life)
Little Miss Sunshine (woo!)
War OF The Worlds (meh)

and a few others.

Well, I'm glad to be back.

Ice Storms

So, It's 7:52 PM and I'm sitting at Mike Kochmans house with he and Cameron.

If you're a usual reader, you'd notice my lack of updates lately.

This is because of a shit piss fuck cunt asshole fucking nugget assclown clownshoes motherfucking ice storm on tuesday night.

It knocked out my cable, TV, and internet and HOPEFULLY it'll be fixed monday.

... fuck my life.

Good Morning, and welcome to another exciting broadcast day.

Good morning friends and hateholes alike- it's me- Josh, the time is 9:24 AM.

Right now, I'm feeling alright.
I SHOULD be doing schoolwork, but I can catch up- it's just a matter of getting to do it.
I'm finally feeling good about stuff in my life.

I'm still not happy, but... that's another story.

Jesus I have a somber blog.

"I hate my life"

"Girls like me and I hate it"

"I pee in the sink"

"wah wah wah"

Well, what does this day hold for me?
A shower, a shave, and laying around to the same old, same old.

Kind of digging on this music.
Live album from the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.

Dicky Barrett has an astounding voice.
Kind of scary.
My favorite song by them is probably Rascal King or Let's Face It.
Check them out :)

Here's some beaver.



I... I don't know.

Who knows, maybe my day will go shitty and I'll have something to write about.

- Josh.

Josh Bennett vs. The Puppy Killer

David Motari is a 22 yr. old Marine from Hawaii, in his spare time he enjoys snowboarding and killing puppies.

There is a video that started circulating around the internet of a soldier (David Montari) killing a puppy by throwing it off of a cliff.

The video is here:



Now, if you wish to argue is being a fake- that's fine, but it's still fucked up.

There are TONS of these videos around of US soldiers harming animals, and people alike, and I posted one on RARmy and got in trouble... Anyways.
It's... sad to think that the people who are "protecting" us in the middle east are getting off by hurting animals.

As I was: That video made Digg's front page, and as usual- the power of the internet gave us information. We now know WHO he is, what kind of car he drives, and I decided to write a little letter to him:

Subject: Dear David

Hi David,

I'm not sure if you've gotten "hatemail" yet, but after seeing the video of throwing the puppy off the cliff, then all I can say is this:

FUCK YOU.

You've served in the military, well- too fucking bad.
You'll get no sympathy from me because you served in the military.

It was a puppy.
A FUCKING PUPPY.

You're one of the various reasons why we have such a bad reputation. I do my fucking job, do yours- but don't kill puppies in the process.

To be truthful, I wish NO harm on you. Want to know why?

Because that would be me sinking down to your level.
Your puppy killing, pseudo-masochist, jackass level.

You'll get what is coming to you.

- Josh.

PS: your Civic sucks.

It disturbs me that this is what they're doing in their spare time.
We'll see how this plays out, and if I get a reply.

The link to the Digg page is located below. Let's hope it stays up long enough for more people to make a stand:

http://digg.com/people/US_Soldier_throws_puppy_off_cliff_%28video%29

Tape.

So, it's sunday.
My day was alright for the most part.
We're having the phone lines replaced in our house- so the phones are out, and they won't be done until this week possibly.

I woke up, messed around, got online, and then hung out with Sam, Cory, and Becky for a bit.
It was pretty fun.
We went to Wendy's and saw a fellow who looked a lot like Jeffrey Dahmer, and this black dude who was talking to himself, staring at people.

That was essentially my day.

As for news in my "personal" life...

There is a girl.
I dig her a lot, and (unless I'm wrong, which I oft am) she digs me.
She wants to date, but... I'm not sure.
I kissed her on the cheek earlier :), fuck you! I can do cute things too!
Like I said I really dig her- but I just don't know if I should.

We all know I'm a bad guy, and I'm an asshole, and since Christina and I broke up, I've just been thinking about that a lot.

I wish I wasn't such an asshole, maybe then I wouldn't be afraid of hurting people in my life.

Eh, not sure.

Oh well.

Jesus my blog has been depressing.
Fuck.

I'm listening to Wu Tang Clan, I feel gangster- whereas I'm a fat white kid.

OH WELL.

- Josh.

Out Of It.

So, it's 3:19 PM right now.
Last night was fun, I was with Fred and Kara for most of it.

Today... I'm all over the place.

I feel out of it.
I'm having moments of realization, grandeur, and pessimism all at once, and it's scaring me.

I know why people don't like me.
I know why all of my relationships fail.
I know why 3/4 of my friends can't stand me
I know why I can't stand me

I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of who I already am, and who I could become.
I'm afraid of what I think.
I'm afraid of what this fucking blog has done to me.

I have friends who drink, I don't.
I don't know why I don't, it's not some legal matter (me being under 21), or making a fool of myself (I do that regardless of alcohol in my system), and I'm not afraid of becoming an alcoholic...

I don't know why I don't drink.
I should.
It'd be a lot easier.

Maybe I'm weak because I don't drink, because I'm not afraid of the outcome, or what will happen to me.

I wish it wasn't so bright right now.

I don't know.