Desperation, Saccades, and Loneliness.

So... today was anything but fun for me.

It was fun because I got to see a few friends I haven't spoken to in a while, but... I just had this distinct feeling of being ditched by people the entire day.

I was always with one or two people... but I just kinda had an off feeling about myself all day.

Like I've mentioned before, I have an immense fear of rejection- so when something like that happens... it kinda hurts. I hate the feeling of being ditched, so I recluse from doing it to other people at all chances I can get.

For example; a certain person (who refuses to be named on my blog, guess who) kinda ditched me for Allie (which you can read that story by clicking this link).

Maybe I'm just thinking too much.
I'm not MAD at anyone who left, I just feel... bad about myself.

Because of stuff like that; I was kinda in a bad mood ALL day.

I just kept seeing people today who don't like me, and then I realized why I wanna get out of this fucking town... mainly because no one really likes me, no one enjoys my company. I'm tired of just being an asshole, and people hating me... I don't know.

Maybe I just want that one friend who I can always depend on.
Who won't ditch me for a girl.
Who won't ditch for drugs (unless I'm counted in :P)
I don't know.

- Josh

The Time, The Time, The Fear.

So, today wasn't TOO out of the ordinary- but I did get to see my friend from New York (my friend Frankie's cousin), and it was cool! She was fun to hang out with, I hung with her and her cousin for most of the day.

Our fun was rather overshadowed by various things though. Weather (which Ohio weather... FUCK), certain people mentioning certain things, etc- but all in all it's been one of the funner days in the past couple weeks.

I'm sleepily sitting around now, kinda waiting for the night to unfold itself for me.

I guess that's kinda how I live my life though- let everything unfold for me... Hm, not the best plan...

- Josh.

Lack of effort.

Well, I really haven't posted in a few days; mostly because there's nothing happening that needs my attention.

It's been raining a whole lot, and I've just been chilling out with some friends.

With all of this weather keeping me inside- I have had the time to catch up on movies.
Some are recent, some are older, etc- but here's a quick list of the stuff I've watched lately.

1. Everything is Illuminated
2. Bottle Rocket
3. Transformers
4. Oceans 13
5. Number 23
6. American Beauty
7. Almost Famous
8. ... Waiting

And I started watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas last night, which- yeah... if you haven't seen it... it's impossible to look away.

I kept kinda just going "Why the fuck am I still watching this", but I couldn't manage to turn it off- I just kept watching it for another hour; before I was like "It's sleep time", it's just... a fucking nutty movie.

So far- it's just about two guys who go on a drug binged trip to Vegas- and the antics ensue.

It'd be nice if something would happen that I could write about.

- Josh

You're a dick.

Sometimes something funny happens, something that makes NO sense to anyone, including those involved... but allow me to explain.

About a week ago, I forget how it came up- but Katlyn mentioned to me that I was being meaner lately (something which I don't really think is true). I (of course) asked why she believes this to be, and she said that it's because I've been hanging with George, and Joe more lately.

Of course I argued with her, and said that I wasn't being a dick... I just didn't really care anymore. After a recent event, I realized that it's nonsense to take anything in life too seriously, that you should spend it doing what you want- not tending to a habit.

But, whatever.

So as the week progressed... I had more and more people coming to me and saying things like "You drink too much", which... I've drank... maybe three times in the past two weeks... fucking wow, since apparently me drinking at Monica's once has turned me into a dick.

ANYWAYS.

Friday night I kinda got the best of it.

I was on MySpace and posted a bulletin that contained song lyrics that I re-worded, and made it seem as thought I were saying nasty things about one person.

If I can really remember they were kinda like this:

1. I've never forgotten about you.

2. You fall for every guy and go "OMG HE'S MY SOULMATE", which is REALLY fucking annoying.

3. Your taste in music are fucking horrendous.

4. The way you fool guys and lead them on, and claim to be the hurt one is rather amusing, especially as you attempt to be the victim.

5. The guys you like are sub-par to both your looks and personality.

And a few other things like that.

Well, apparently Katie and Katlyn thought I was talking about Katlyn (psuedo-narcissist), so not but five minutes later- Katie posted a bulletin SORTA like this:

Don't talk shit about my friends

You're just a dick.
I'm sure the only one who found it funny was George, because he's your biggest fan.

I don't REALLY care, but I had to reply- and then Katlyn started sommenting me, still thinking that I did it to be mean to her- pretty much bitching at me, still calling out George on being a dick.

So, after a while- I just got kinda tired of it, and posted this final bulletin:

Alright.

So anyone who has been reading these fucking bulletins- I DEEPLY apologize and there shall not be any more from me tonight (unless I post a blog, or something of the sort), but essentially:

People had a misunderstanding.

Attacked my friends (verbally, through me)
Decided that their pseudo-narcissism was in fact brilliant and the best plan
And so a fight ensued.

So- I shall end it here.

Katlyn.

You're dating Bo- congrats dating your 20 yr. old boyfriend.
No pun intended, just- have fun.

Katie.

Seriously... it doesn't even fucking matter... you're whole "omg I'm a hippie- I love being outside" is the most obligatory, ignorant, one-sided, redundant cliche to ever grave this universe- though, it's your life... so more kudos to you.

Then Katie IMed me, IN ALL CAPS (ohhh, woo!) yelling at me for the bulletin, calling me a jerk, etc...

The fact that they took all of what I said offensivly doesn't REALLY bother me- what bothers me is that they attacked George (and Joe) for what appears to be no actual reason.

I asked Katie for a reason why George is a dick, and she gave no real answer... she fed some bullshit like "I see the way he talks to people", what the fuck- I'm the dick... Seriously, if you're gonna call someone a name, at least actually know them. Katie, Katlyn, and all the others who have been telling me this... they're all like under 16... They don't even hang out with them, let alone know George and Joe to even be able to call them dicks.

You kids (those who read this) think I've become a dick since I started actually having fun with my summer... well, I gotta be honest... I don't give a FUCK.

- Josh.

Infection.

Right now... it's 6:56 PM here... and I feel like shit.

If anyone knows (or remembers) my car crash last year with Cameron- well, it knocked out a molar on the right side of my mouth, when we crashed, my head was turned to the right when we crashed and flew forward- it knocked that tooth out.

Well, I had to occasional pain, and not being able to use that side of my mouth... but it was fine.

Then earlier today... out of nowhere I just got an immense amount of pain emanating from the area of my mouth.

The pains'' been getting worse- so my best speculation is that it's an infection of some type- but penicillin should help it clear straight up.

I'm going to the doctors' tomorrow... but tonight is going to be a major fucking bitch.

With the pain I got, it's been giving me a headache (as one would suppose)... so I'm kinda suffering through the day.

I got Orajel, and Advil to hopefully make help me through the night.

This is some intense pain for me. It's been quite a while- the carwreck didn't even hurt as much as this weird gum/tooth infection.

I'd really enjoy some Nyquil right now...

- Josh

Falling for everyone

Have you ever met one of those people (usually, a girl), who falls for a guy ALL too easily- and she changes her entire outlook.

One week It'd go "OMG I LOVE ADAM WITH ALL OF MY HEART" on their myspace... then two weeks later "OMG I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT BY GUYS, BUT I FOUND ONE WHO WON'T... MARK<3"...

You know what I'm talking about, right?

Well... I really hope those girls get pregnant then beaten for the rest of their lives.

If you're so mentally defective that you will fall for EVERY guy in a three foot radius- then... hell, just spend the rest of your life making it your obligation to contract as many STD's as humanly possible.

That goes right next to people who don't like being out of a relationship.

I got out of a seven (or was it eight?) month relationship in February... and I gotta be honest... I dig it.

Seriously... all of you little fucknuggets who get new girlfriends and boyfriends weekly... just trying being single for a week, you might actually change your outlook.

I was just never conditioned to believe that way. I don't NEED to be in a relationship, I don't NEED someone to tell me they love me constantly, I don't NEED to please people.

- JoshBennett

Ceasfire for Giggle factory.

Well, I've gotten another one.

I now have another person who has said "Quit using my in your blogs", so- I will respectfully do so... but only by his name.

All of the dumb shit this person has said will STILL be put up here, but I cannot use their name any longer.

I'm not that surprised, but I'm just surprised it took this long.

I will not tell anyone who it is, but if you've read my previous blog entry... then you may or may not have your answer.

Honestly; I don't care.

I just think it's funny people take themselves seriously. Who gives a fuck what people think about you, especially the internet land. It's full of psychos who hate you for spelling something wrong.

If someone mentions me (even in a disdainful way)- COOL! Send it to me, that's fine.

The thing I find most humorous is that people take themselves all to seriously and then don't defend themselves... they just say "Don't ever mention me again", or something like that.

PLEASE- fuck your pride, fuck your conscious, be a human.

Fuck your needs, let's worry about the Ethiopians.

If you don't want to be written about- tell me that, and I won't mention you... I won't even be angry, I completely understand.

So- from now on I'll use a codename for this person and their fun little stories. I'm thinkin'.... like Fagzar, or something groovy like that. I'll update you on what I decide to name such.

- JoshBennett

Cut out the PDA.

So, if you're like me- then you despise PDA (public displays of affection); kissing, sort of dry-humping (seen it), copious amounts of fondle-hugging, and other things that are best left done in the privacy of ones' home.

I've been at the park, and Matt and Lauren show up. I'll just be speaking to him and then he and Lauren would just start fucking making out mid-sentence like he just came back from war!

What the fuck gives?

Why can't we use our time for other things?



You wanna go makeout and creep people out- be my guest, but do it in privacy- no one wants to see that shit happening (no one who won't make fun of you later, or jerk off thinking about it at least), so why do it?

No one really cares about your kissing techniques, where you put your hands when you kiss your significant other, or if you're eating her face while kissing.

Cut the shit.

On behalf of every sane fucking individual out there- cut the shit out.

Can't go to someones' home? Go to the fucking woods.
Live in the desert? Hide behind a cactus.

PDA is one of the few things I believe should be censored- just because I (and many others) REALLY don't want to see it.

Wow- holy shit, you're SO overcome with the body of another human that you have the need to ravage their lips like a death-row prisoner on suicide watch raping his bunk buddy.

Of course (as said in comments), there is nothing with a cute peck on the cheek- but I'm not appreciating the park porno scene being acted out in front of me.

Save it.
Conserve your hormones, you'll want them back when you're an old guy who can't get his dick up.

- Josh.

Little girls and the can man.

So, the other day at the park... I actually hit pissed off for one of the first times in a long time.

I was at the park with Cameron and his 14 yr. old girl posse showed up circling him and going:

"OMG CAMERON"

"Can you like give us a like ride to the mall?!"

"CAMERON OMG I LOVE YOU"

Well, while they were circling him, I got into his truck and was just sitting around.

Out of nowhere I hear "Oh my god, it's that old creepy guy!", I look and it's Can Man.

Can Man is a local elderly guy who walks around town picking up cans (presumably for scrap), I've often seen people messing with him, and everytime they do I always tell them to fuck off and leave the guy alone.

Well, I could tell that he heard them call him "old creepy guy", and I kinda just looked down.

After he walked around the fence to get inside the park, I saw one of the little cunts go up and say "Hey, I like your hat... Where'd you get it?", and he (of course) ignored her, but looked at her.

She kept asking, then I got out of the truck and started screaming at her.

"Leave the fucking guy alone, you miserable little twat. Go the fuck away, go play on Myspace- or whine to mommy and daddy... just fuck off!"

It pissed me off.

Leave the fucking guy alone.
You think his life isn't bad enough?
Stop being such a little fucking douche-bag, cunt and leave people alone.

Seriously, what can make a person actually go up to a complete stranger, a stranger who has to walk around and collect scrap for money, and be a total asshole to them.

Who knows...
They should be sterilized before they can reproduce.

- Josh.

Be happy with who you are.

I'm constantly surprised by the foolishness of people in today's day and age.
People who find that looks shall surpass personality, integrity, and will are at a constant marker and high.

Maybe I'm the ignorant one... but why can't people just be happy with who they are?

Why do they find it that gauging their ears to 2 inches, and piercing their septum is cute/attractive?

I'm a fugly guy, so I can say that personality does matter.

What're looks when you're a brain-deaf moron?

Dying you're hair, and stuff- that's cool, I have nothing against you walking around with pink hair... but try not to look like a fucking freak and then take yourself seriously.

Don't gauge your fucking ears, pierce your septum, dye your hair 30 different colors, straighten it 40 times a day and wish to be treated normal, or not to be made fun of.

If you're gonna do it- you're going to have to accept ridicule, stares, and the fact that you're personality and morale is so low- that you want to look like everyone else.

Honestly, if you think those uber-emo hairstyles, pale-white skin, and septum piercings are a trademark of beauty, then you might consider yourself retarded and just start drooling on yourself.

You are who you are- be that person, don't be the one that everyone else sees when they walk down the street.

- Josh.

Complain, complain, complain

Well, apparently (to some) I've changed.
How? I'm not quite sure.

Maybe it's because now I actually drink with the company of other humans, instead of depressingly in my basement.

Personally- I still feel the same, but I have a bit of a different outlook on a few things in my life. The fact is this- we all change to a certain degree in our lives at some point (though it may be more often and the change may be slight to dramatic), but we all change.

It's taken me changing to realize that it's none of my business how other people have/are changing.

If someone wants to suddenly start doing drugs- It's none of my business until they hurt themselves or someone else.

If someone suddenly decides to take up bestiality- fucking go for it man.

I used to do the same thing to people, talk about "how much they've changed"... but ever since I had a bit of an epiphany, I've realized that I should welcome their change with open arms instead of chastise and shit on their beliefs.

Thought one could make the argument that often these changes could be bad things- like a switch from civil rights activism to neo-nazism, but- until they're burning crosses on yards... I say go for it.

- Josh.

Feelin' bad

Well, I'm feeling kinda down.
I've kinda been lingering on the thoughts of what happened last night (read previous blog entry if you're wondering). I know it happens, but... eh, I still feel pretty terrible that they had to clean up after my vomiting ass.

I was talking to Dillion, and he said that they were gonna put me downstairs in the dog cage (which I probably wouldn't have cared), but Monica wouldn't let them near me.

Which I thought was actually pretty sweet.

That's never really happened, haha. Most times when I get fucked up EVERYONE was in on fucking with me, I don't know- kind of cool that she noted how fucked up I was.

I'm still not COMPLETELY sure what I feel so bad about, I think I'm more ashamed that I got that fucked up, puked my brains out at George's.

Pacing is a bitch.

- Josh.

Never do it again: drink that much that quick

Well, it's almost 2 PM here on fathers' day... and I'm sitting here... feeling dumb as fuck.

Last night around 12 or so- George asked if I wanted to come over and get drunk with them (them being Joe and Monica), and I didn't have much going on- so I decided to.

After George and Joe came and got me- we went back to George's and played a few drinking (card) games, while just chilling out.

When George lost in one game, he donned the Heineken beer case as a hat that said "ASSHOLE" on it.

While we're all sitting around... Monica comes downstairs to deliver news, "There's four more beers left, then both cases are done"... which was depressing as I got my 3rd or 4th beer in me... Then (the slowly getting drunk) George reminds of us of the wine that he has.

As my final beer was killed off- I went and grabbed a bottle of wine and just started drinking it, walking around with it at that.

I remember walking around with the bottle of wine, drinking it and Joe going "Dude, you've kinda been chugging that since you got it... might wanna slow down", and then I looked at it to see that I had pretty much killed the entire bottle myself.

Monica stole the remaining bit, only to spill it upstairs.

Eventually, DK showed up, and he was having fun drinking with the rest of us.

Somehow, Crazy Carl showed up- and said he'd beat my ass, before handing me a beer.

After that... I don't really remember anything at all.

I woke up on George's couch this morning around 10 AM.

While I walked home, I looked at my shirt- and saw that I had what looked like... red vomit... then I remembered that we had Nacho Cheese Doritos.

When I got in contact with Monica- this is what she said happened:

anyways.....fuck you you fucking fuck for eating a roast before you went drinking! hahaha it took me like 40 min to get all that meat to go down the sink by poking it with a screw driver...

hah but its all cool. as always fun time was had by all.

While I pondered this, and thought of the Dorito vomit, I commented her back and told her that I had no idea what happened, to which she said this:

but not only did you puke every where you dropped and broke the bottle of whiskey! lol

Another thing I was unbeknownst to.

How we got that bottle of whiskey- I'll probably never know.

I drank WAY too much, in way too little time.

Worst part is: I'd do it again.

- Josh

Amazed at the anger in people.

I just got home, I was out with Cameron.

He'd decided to drive home real quick and grab a hoodie.


Along the drive, we saw a guy (about our age) on the side of the road, and he just made a gesture- kind of like a hi, but with most tension on the index and middle fingers... when Cameron flips his shit.

He says "I'm gonna fight that motherfucker" and screams and calls the guy a whore, and I tell Cameron to just keep driving. Cameron says "He fucking flipped me off!", to which I said "No he didn't (which Cameron interrupted to say Yes he did), he just gave a weird hand gesture. Don't act like one of those fucking gangster kids if they're saying shit about me, I'm gonna fight them, seriously Cameron- who's mind is that gonna change."

He didn't reply, but then drove to his house.

It was at that moment that I realized how ignorant most people are.

What if that guy DID flip him off?

Who fucking cares?

WOW
SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE YOU
BIG FUCKING WOOP.

Get the fuck over yourself, people.
No one can change his mind except you.
Do you really want to change his mind to make him think you're an asshole by kicking his ass, or do you want to make him feel like a jerk by simply stating the problem and talking it out like civilized humans?

People wonder why war exists, why people fight and riot- it's because people give a fuck.
Stop caring about what other people think, and focus on yourself before you bitch about other people and how useless they are.

Let's move on.

- Josh Bennett

Matt and his life purpose Pt. 1

Now my friend Matt is OFTEN mentioned on this blog, and is often mentioned in great detail as being a subject of ridicule- but sometimes (not too often), he becomes a good purpose to a blog.

We were at the park the other day, and Matt said there was no good music in the 90's, to which I disagreed... and started naming off bands... then I realized; to him, music is metal- he has no other form of music other than metal and rap (with the exception of an EITS song or two, and Cursive)... but he's allowed to think what he wants, but come on- if you're gonna view music, view it as a WHOLE- not one or two genres.

It was later on that I found out that Matt has a big part of this blog. His life purpose is to say stupid shit for me to write about.

Read the comments on a few of the blogs that include Matt and they'll say "Why is that kid so dumb?", "Haha, funny shit", or some other things that view Matt in a negative light.

Matt is a good guy, but dumber than dirt- and his purpose in this universe is to keep saying silly stuff that makes him sound retarded.


Cheers to Matt!

- Josh

Don't mess with the Jesus

Casually, I could care less what one person thinks, not in a rude sense... just in the sense that we all have our ideas, and no two people are exactly the same, but there is one group of people that should be disallowed from believing what they wish.

I have no problem with faithful, and religious people... but I have a problem with "preachy" people... those people are casually (but not always) teenagers who were converted to Christianity by a friend... and then they feel high and mighty, which gives them the right to preach to everyone, and throw in their two cents every possible moment.

Well yesterday I was with Mike Kochman, and Cameron at the park when Mike's little sister (even though her and I are the same age), Kara showed up... and I'd had run-ins with her about religion before... because she watched a youtube video of a guy who said he experienced hell and... she fucking believed it... which... yeah, and she also belongs to the aforementioned group of "preachy" people.

Kara and her guy-friend went off to swing, so we all started making jokes and making fun of each other (like usual), and then Kara and the guy came over... and I kind of just said something to Kara, to which this conversation was sparked:


Kara: Josh Bennett, I'm not afraid of you.
(She then walks over to me, and is kinda up in my face, even though I wasn't facing her... and she's like 5'2.)
Me: Oh no! Let me pray to god about this one... God I know you're busy letting Etheopian children starve tonight... but could you come here and help Kara?
(she continues to get closer to me)
Me: I know that war, famine, and disease run rampant across the world... but please! Take a moment from ignoring them and help me, a sinner!
(She gets closer)
Me: I know that abortion is wrong, even though you allowed us to create it- so please, please help Kara before you ignore that any further!
(she gets as close as she can, Cam and Mike are literally dying in laughter)
Me: Please god, please- smite me, smite me!

She turns and walks away, but calls me a dick. She walks over to the trashcan, where directly next to it- someone dropped a coke bottle. She said "Why do people have to litter?!", to which I replied "God allowed us to create plastic, ask him.", which she attempted to counter... but failed miserably.

She threw the coke bottle at me and left.
I was (and still am) proud of myself.

If you're a religious person, congrats, you deserve it.
If you're a preachy person- fuck off.

I like faith.
I don't like what religion instills in people.

- Josh

The Bear Man

So as I sit here writing this, Cameron is eating cereal and watching the Science channel.

We just got back from James Yaratch's party.
And... well it was a journey.

Cameron, Mike Kochman, and myself decided to go out there earlier this evening, but decided to leave around 9:30-ish to head there.

None of us knew the way out there so we call (the already buzzed) Charlee for directions.

We get directions slowly and make our way out there... While we're going down some dark, random road... when we see this large brown... bearlike object kind of hobbling across the road... of course we fucking stare... and it's in face a big, black fellow in a bear costume making his way across the street. While we drive past, I look and see him staring at this... my first thoughts were "OH FUCK, WE'RE GONNA DIE TONIGHT".... While we pondered this, a deer jumped in front of the truck, and we hit a frog.

After we finally arrive at said party... we hang around a bit with a bunch of people we knew, and a few we were new with. We hung around for a little under an hour before Cam's parent's crashed our party.

Now... I sit here, 15 minutes later, listening to an odd mixture of Defiance, Ohio and the Science channel.

Who knows what's gonna happen.

- Josh

Seriously.

So yesterday I had two open houses (Clay's and Richie's, for those who were wondering), and my friend Trent (he looks like Aaron Gillespie from Under0ath) wanted to come along to Richie's, but I had to stop at Clay's beforehand- so he came with me there, we had also agreed to meet Matt and Josh G. at 3 or so at Dairy Queen to all walk together out to Richie's open house.

While Trent and I were sitting at Clay's- Cameron showed up, and said he was headed out to Richie's open house (which is a nice, long, HOT, walk), so we decided to just get a ride. I called up Josh G. and told him that Cameron would just give us all a ride- and he said alright... Five minutes later he called back and just said that they would walk... fine.

A short while later we left for Richie's open house.

After we got there, the "group" was all by a table. Trent, Cameron and I join them and we're all just sitting around making fun of each other- talking, and stuff.

About 20-30 minutes later- Matt gets up and goes "Yeah, I think I'm gonna leave".

That's cool, do what you want- walking in that blistering heat.

So as the night progresses, a bunch of us end up at Clay's house playing video games... which turns into all of us making fun of each other until 5 AM (that's when I left at least).

I get online today, IM Matt- and tell him he missed out on all the fun (including a deathcore band that played Richie's open house, us tying tons of helium balloons to a soda can and making it float off into the distance, and a skate video about a mysterious rabbit), to which this conversation happened:

Matt: You guys were being dicks.
Me: Dude, we were all being dicks to each other, it's how it rolls.
Matt: Nah, you guys were ganging up on me.
Me: No we weren't, we all make fun of each other... you're an easy target, that's not my fault.

It may have sounded rude... but it's true.

We ALL make fun of each other.
NO ONE IS EXEMPT.

Even Trent (the youngest and least familiar with the group) took the making fun of- and then everybody loved him, and was fine with him.

You can't expect to be instantly welcomed without a backlash.

When you try looking like a badass, straightening your hair 3 - 5 times a day for 30 minutes a day- you're gonna get made fun of.

When you talk about getting your septum pierced and guaging your ears- you're gonna get made fun of by someone.

While you try looking like other people, those people are actually having fun while you perfect looking like them.

The day he can take the making fun of- is the day he'll be openly welcomed into the group by me.

- Josh

Golden tunes

So, I was just thinking about music.
(as I listen to Beck's album Sea Change)

And I really dig hearing (and exploring) new bands... so I figured I'd throw down a few really groovy bands that everyone should really check out.


1. Dawn Of The Dude

REALLY great power-pop and ska.
Extremely cool guys all around the board.

http://www.myspace.com/dawnofthedude

2. The Nova Echo

An extension of a guys' solo project turned to a band.
Awesome music, VERY synthy and but I dig it.

http://www.myspace.com/thenovaecho

3. Adam West

Intense beat-maker/cool guy.
Check out the tunes and drop him a line.

http://www.myspace.com/iconicstylee

4. Miapollo

Great indie (inspired) rock.
Cool Ohioians.

http://www.myspace.com/miapollomusic

5. Wake The Lion

Screamo/metal group, good music.
Good writing.

http://www.myspace.com/wakethelion

6. The Wrong Trousers

Fun music, great "Video Killed the Radio Star" cover.

http://www.myspace.com/thewrongtrousers

My hatred for UPS.

So I've never really been a fan of UPS- it always just seems like they just don't give a shit, but at least they could do their fucking job.

Going back a week or two- my grandfather was having a package delivered from his brother (my great-uncle) in California, and his brother was sending it via UPS, but with sign on delivery.

Well they were waiting for the expected date when it would arrive... but the package wasn't delivered by UPS, it was delivered by our neighbor two houses down. He showed up at our door (drunk) and he said he was drinking with the UPS guy and the UPS guy asked him if he knew our address and being our neighbor, he did know- and so he brought the package.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

What does it take for a motherfucker to find our house? It's not even concealed!!! My house is in the middle of town for fucks sake, all they'd have to say to the (possibly drunk) UPS guy is "That big white house next to the Funeral Home" and I'm sure they'd have better luck.

That was fine... but then I bought shoes, and I kept waiting on them (anxiously), and the expected arrival date was June 4th. So I was waiting around all day, then around 4PM I checked the tracking number and it says they were delivered. I ask my grandma and she says that she hasn't heard the door or anything, so I go look out on the back porch and the UPS guy APPARENTLY tried throwing them on my porch, but instead missed the porch, said fuck it and left, because they were at the bottom of my outside basement stairs.

If I NEVER have to use UPS ever again... I'll be happy.


- Josh.

Downtime.

So this is just a quick, quick post to update some stuff.

STILL NO JOB.

I'm also devoting a nice bit of time to Judging Giraffes, and I'm looking for another reviewer (contact me via e-mail: skylightaftermidnight@yahoo.com if you're interested) or two.

I have fun reviewing stuff, but I also have fun writing my stories and stuff in here. Hopefully after I get my shit in line, I'll be back to writing here more often, though I highly doubt my shit making sense.

With summer starting up, I'll be at home less- and that means I probably won't be writing as much... but then again, who knows?

I'll keep doing my best to write as much as I can, as long as I can.


Have a good day guys.

- Josh

Smores

Last night, I fell asleep early (around 9, not feeling too good) and I was awoken by a phone call around 10:30 by my friend Sam, and the phone call went a bit like this:


Me: Hello?
Sam: Hey
Me: Yeah, what's up?
Sam: Nothing, but uhhhh my sister is on her way.
Me: Ugh, why?
Sam: She wants you to go make smores with her friend Sam and somebody else.
Me: Well I'm not going.
Sam: I know that, that's why I wouldn't give her your number. Were you asleep?
Me: Yep.
Sam: Yeah, so they're on their way to your house.
Me: Son of a bitch, alright. Thanks.
Sam: Sorry.
Me: It's no big deal.

So I get out of bed, SWEATING- I throw on a t-shirt and walk outside. As I walk around the corner, I see Selena and she calls Becky and her friend Sam over after going up and knocking on my front door.

I tell them I'm not going to make smores, I'm going back to sleep. I walk back inside, tell my grandmother goodnight and fall back asleep.

Jesus Christ.
If you really want to hang out and make smores- motherfucker don't show up at my house at 10:30 after no one will give you my number.

I would've hung out, but not when they just show up at my house like that, especially while I'm sleeping.

Otherwise- call first.
It just pissed me off that they show up at my house like that.

I'm not really angry, I was just kind of pissed that people woke me up.

Besides- I have my last day of class today, so I probably wouldn't have went knowing I had to do that.

Also; those three girls were all like 14... What the fuck?

Good kids, just insanely silly.


- Josh.

Also; DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT JUDGING GIRAFFES UNDER FRIENDS.

Quick stuff.

So this is just a quick post for an update.
I'm opening a NEW blog.
I enjoy reviewing things- but I don't really want to turn IoS into that.
The IoS is my journal, my stories, and my rants- so in order to HELP keep the preservation of my blog intact I've decided to open a blog simply for the purpose of reviewing Movies, Books, Music, and probably other things.

So go ahead and bookmark the new site, and hopefully I'll have some stuff up there by the end of the day:

http://judginggiraffes.blogspot.com/

Also: Check out Lauren's photoblog under the friends' links.

- Josh

R.E.M. - Accelerate

Whether or not you like R.E.M., you cannot deny the catchiness that they have, and the infectious feeling that songs like "It's the end of the world (and I don't care)", or "Man on the Moon" have. The instant feeling to make you want to jump up and sing along to their tunes.

After their first album in years, an attempt to rehash their repuation (after a collosal failure called Around the Sun), REM release their new album since 2004 called "Accelerate".




As the opening track "Living Well is the Best Revenge" cues in, and the vocals start- you can tell that they're just having fun at this point. The vocals (though seriously written, and written well) sound like he's seen the world and he's bringing back the gift of a light-hearted nature.

While the tracks progress, you can notice the songs feel like they're having callbacks. The chorus of "Supernatural Superserious" sounds strikingly similar to that of the song "Stand"- but a good song nonetheless, and is also the first music video for the new album:



The song "Houston" is played via an acoustic guitar, but with an organ and drum kit backing it up- it gives a very bluesy psuedo-guerrilla feel while making Michael Stipe pull off his traditional raspy-yet-harmonic voice echo that only he could pull off.

In many albums the title track is usually the pinnacle of the album, and often the reason they've named the album after a song so respected in their own magnitude... Though sometimes that song will turn out to be a bit wretched and you can't wait for it to be over, as is the case with the title track "Accelerate", which apparently just seems to repeat the chorus indefinitely over it's three minute span, which I ask why they'd name their album over such a shitty, shitty song.

After the title track, the song "Mr. Richards" comes on, and is probably my favorite track from the album- albeit it may also be the most simple one- simply written, but wonderfully played and sung by all involved with it.

Probably the biggest surprise is the song "I'm Gonna DJ", which is constant drum and rhythm the entire time while Michael Stipe sings affection ally over the entire song.

Though the album is a bit lackluster, it's still a great album. No one can ever deny the writing abilities of Michael Stipe and company. It's nice to see them writing and performing again, but it's a bit depressing knowing they'll NEVER write anything nearly as amazing as they did "back in the day", so to speak- they're an amazing band, and it's hard to understand that those years of brilliant writing are very well behind them, but it's opened up a new door of experimentation- as long as they learn that songs like "I'm Gonna DJ" could be their future- they'll be fine.

Final score: 7.5/10

Outcast.

I just got back home.
I walked to the park, saw people I knew- a few of them even said hi to me.
For some reason... I just feel like an outcast.
I only have... five friends in this town.
All of the others can just fuck off.
All of my friends live nowhere close to me- though varying regions of Northeastern, Ohio.
I've been feeling more alone than usual lately.
I want to just... go away.
I'm tired of feeling alone, but it's my fault alone, no one has done a single thing to me.

The reason I feel alienated is because I allow myself to feel this way.
I REALLY want to just want to be a happy person, and move on... but I can't.

I can't really recall the last time I actually felt happy.
Even when I was in a relationship.
I want to do something, anything to feel happy.

I'm tired of hating myself, and everything around me.
I need something.
anything.

- Josh

Albums to listen to in 2008

Good morning everyone.
Not much is happening today.
Kind of blank on writing, but I'm trying to fill in spots that are made when I don't write for a few days.
It was a fun, happening, out-there weekend- but it's just stuff I know people wouldn't be interested in hearing of.

So, instead I've compiled a nice little list of albums I look forward to checking out this year (and some from this year I HAVE checked out).


R = Released
NYR = Not Yet Released

1. In Rainbows - Radiohead (R)
2. Unfamiliar Faces - Matt Costa (R)
3. Odelay (Deluxe Edition, 10th Anniversary) - Beck (R)
4. The Bedlam In Goliath - The Mars Volta (R)
5. Board Up The House - Ghengis Tron (R)
6. Float - Flogging Molly (R)
7. 13 Blues for 13 Moons - Thee Mt. Zion Silver Orchestra & Tra-La-La-La Band (R)
8. Consolers of the Lonely - The Raconteurs (R)
9. Accelerate - REM (R)
10. Attack and Release - Black Keys (R)
11. Rising Down - The Roots (R)
12. Odd Couple - Gnarls Barkley (R)
13. Weezer (Red Album) - Weezer (NYR)
14. Seeing Sounds - N*E*R*D (NYR)
15. Meo Suo I Eyrum Vio Spilum Endlalaust - Sigur Ros (NYR)
16. Last 2 Walk - Three 6 Mafia (NYR)
17. GNV FLA - Less Than Jake (NYR)
18. Self Medication - Slackers (R)
19. The Third World - Immortal Technique (NYR)
20. Agony and Irony - Alkaline Trio (NYR)
21. Nigger - Nas (NYR)
22. Untitled - Aquabats (NYR)
23. Untitled - RANCID (NYR)
24. Untitled - Social D (NYR)

Those are just a few of the albums I'm anticipating/listening to since their release this year. I especially recommend the new Slackers album "Self Medication", good shit.