"I must have looked insane"

So it's been a few days.
A few things have happened.


2. So, yesterday (Friday), I had my doctors appointment. It was just a physical. Woke up and did school work, then Grandpa and I left to go up to the Doctors Office. Along the way he and I are talking. I ask him about the days when he used to be a trucker, and he relays some bitching stories.

We get to the Doctors Office and go in. Already two people in there. Fine. So, we walk to the end of the hall and they are out for lunch from 12:00 to 1:00. We sit around in the Lobby and listen to these two people talk. The one sounds like her tongue was cut out, lisping while sounding drunk and raspy. Which, by her behavior I'd say she was. This is one conversation I heard between her and her white haired- whatever the fuck she was to her.

Tongue woman: Show I Shed NO!
Woman 2: Why didn't you just go.
(I have no idea what they were talking about so don't ask)
Tongue woman: Cush thosh arabsh are on the planesh
Woman: But you were going to ride a train.

WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY TALKING ABOUT?!

So we continue sitting in there until they turn on the lights.
We go in and sit in the waiting room. We're sitting in there with Tongue lady, her friend, Bubba (big guy wearing boots), Miles (old black dude in wool coat), Shelshock Steve (guy with buzzcut, looking like he'd been in the shit), and the old agitated hippie.

Well, Miles wants to watch TV, so he goes over and turns it on. So we're watching TV and my Grandpa looks at me and goes "We've been here two hours waiting, if they aren't out here in the next twenty minutes, we're leaving." So I get called and fill out my paperwork. Ten minutes later I go into the other part of the office. They weigh me and take my height. After that I go into the waiting room where my blood pressure is taken and they ask questions like "Are you sexually active?, Do you smoke?, Drink?, recreational drug use?"

The nurse leaves and my Doctor comes in. I meet her, her name is Dr. Becker (yes, like the TV show). We talk for a bit, then she tests my reflexes, and then for some odd reason she touches my stomache, not just my shirt.

Her: Alright, so lay down please.
Me: Uhhh... Alright.

Then she just lifts up my shirt, presses my stomach and lets me sit up! At least it wasn't a gynecologist.

Gyno- (prodding the vagina)
Girl: what the fuck are you doing?
Gyno: Uhhh, what?
Girl: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Gyno: N-nothing. So, uh I gotta run. Pick up your prescription for Clozapine.
Girl: Why are you prescribing me anti psychotics?
Gyno: I wanna see what happens.

So, anyways.
I finish up being molested and come back home.


1. (Deserves it's own heading) I must have looked insane.

Earlier, I got a shower and needed to go to the bank.
So, I'm wearing shorts, a hoodie and slip on vans. With wet hair.
All the sidewalks are ice mind you.
I figured I'd walk up this alleyway next to my house as a short cut. I start walking and then I see a guy fixing something, walk past him and then I see a sign to my right that says "No entry, keep out" and next to it was a fence.
I got fucking lost on my way to the bank that's not even a block away from my house.
I turn around and just to make myself sound less like a moron, I ask the guy if he saw anyone.
He said no, and I hurriedly walked away.

So, I get to the bank, get my money and decide to leave. There is a woman walking in, I open the door. She says thank you, smiling... and what do I say? "Anytime".
You're a fucktard Josh.
You sound like a creepy goat pedobear.
What I should have said? NOTHING.
Instead I knock up my creepy meter.

So.... Five steps out of the bank... I fall on my ass. I look over and there is a white car full of people staring, and laughing at me. I must have looked a bit funny.

A big guy with frizzy, wet hair wearing shorts and a jacket in the middle of winter.

So, I just picked myself up and walked home laughing and falling the entire time. I must have looked insane.

- Josh.