Good evening folks, it's 5:07 PM right now.
I'm feel pretty alright- not too much going on.
Quiet day, rainy and gloomy outside anyways.
I've been in a pretty gloomy mood the past day or two- and... well this is one factor that added into it.
There was once this girl whom I'd dated once before. anyways there was once a girl I dug, and she dug me (or so I thought) and she was talking to a good friend of mine (all names are being removed). Well, he ACTUALLY had zero interest in this girl- but couldn't think of a good way to tell her. So, one fateful day I ended up kissing this girl and telling her that I still cared about her (catching up?) and when my friend came back from vacation- he asked me fore help. So, one fateful night- I essentially wrote the letter that was breaking them up. It was in increments, and it was some of my best work to date. In each of her replies to him- she said she only wanted to be with him, that she loved him, etc- eventually the night ended with them hardly being friends.
Since her and I had already dated, I decided it was an empty cause and told her to move on- and that I'm a useless asshole, jerk, etc... to which she would say that she only wanted to date me (sounding familiar?). This went on for a while- until she went off one day to smoke a nice bit of pot. I thought very little at it at the time, and talked to another friend of mine (for the sake of argument let's call my second friend ... John), and he said that this female said the SAME thing to him.
"I love you, I want to be with you, you're the only one", during this process when she was telling me the exactly same thing.
When I heard this... I recalled seeing this SAME girl all around a few different guys at a concert a week or so prior.
So... on this day when she went to smoke pot, I lost all respect for a person to which I once admired, the fact that she went off and smoked pot didn't help. I'm disgusted by drug usage... I've been there.
I hold no resentment towards her, just made me feel like shit.
I'm cool now, but I don't know- still makes me feel like shit, and how no one likes me- blah blah blah, mindless drab.
Anyways.
Hopefully everyone is having a good weekend- maybe I'll come back with more stories.
- Josh.
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2 comments:
Okay for one, I do still love Cameron, I love both of you. There's nothing anyone can do to change that. You told me to move on, so I was trying to. And I don't know what the hell your talking about the concert for. If you mean Chris Ferry; Yeah, I thought I liked him but he pretty much screwed me over. I'm fucking tired of being screwed over and getting led on. You tell me you love me and you want to be with me but noooooo "we can never be together" that's bull shit and you know it. I smoked pot because I wanted to. It didn't change me, but it obviously showed me who my true friends are.
Also:
I never told Derrick that I loved him. I did say that I wanted to be with him, but that's cause I thought he wanted to be with me. Once again, I got led on.
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