"My Family"

So, as many people read this blog know... I'm... a little weird, and out there. People have asked me "How did you get so fucked up?", and the easiest way to explain it... is my family.

Most of my imediate family is twisted like me (humorwise), with the exception of two- my Aunt Beth, and my Aunt Amy.

I'll go into a bit of detail on each, just as a glimpse.

1. My Aunt Beth.

My aunt Beth and her family are hardcore Christians who homeschool their children, drive GM trucks, and hunt at a consistent basis.

Three or four things I'm highly opposed to.

• Christianity is a slippery slope of tyranny that you have to be careful with, because when people like the WBC get near it- they give the rest of you Christians a bad name, but this is a subject for another blog.

• Homeschooling your children because you're afraid of them getting social interaction and experiencing the world out there is very painful and it'll probably make the two kids socially awkward down the line.

• GM and it's affiliates pollute the air constantly and it bothers the shit out of me.

• Hunting is destroying ANIMALS. When you try to argue this point with a person they say "Well, they're over-polluted, we have to keep their population down"... FUCK YOU. Humans are over-populated, get the fuck off of your fat wife and we won't need to hunt a poor animal, fucking masochistic-neo-psychopaths.

So those are just some of the things I argue with THEM about. I find it funny that I'm the "dumb one" in my family... but I think I have more logic than all of them, oh well.

2. My Aunt Amy

Ah, this side of the family. My aunt Amy is essentially fucking her kids up for life. Her husband (my uncle Bill) raises their kids in a very pseudo-militaristic atmosphere. He makes the two boys play football, and their daughter play softball... The best part is, one of the sons and the daughter want to play Soccer, and he fucking hates it.

He's SO anti-soccer that it's just funny. He calls it a "bitch sport", for "girls"- yeah, because a bunch of guys huddled together touching balls isn't gay.

Those kids are pushed too hard in sports, and not enough in academics- let them be smart, and play the sport they want to play. Soccer is fun, it's easy to pick up, and anyone can do it (even just for fun).

I'm forced to like my family, but I've kind of picked up how NOT to raise a family through these people.

Like me? I'll NEVER raise my kids around religion, it's too complicated, and if I do raise them around religion- it'll be Buddhism.

But don't get me wrong, I love my family beyond belief, but... we're all flawed, and you can often learn from other peoples' flaws. Like me? I'm the biggest procrastinator you'll ever meet, and I can be quite shy at times.

Is your family fucked?

- Josh