So in continuation of my everlasting damnation for all of eternity, I've produced a second book, in my "bible rewrites". You can read the first one, here.
Book Two, Exodus:
These Egyptian motherfuckers named the Hebrews were paying off a debt to some nigga from some coke he gave them three years ago at a bustop- while waitin' to go to the Piggly Wiggly and cash in their food stamps. Of course this nigga took the food stamps, he wanted some fucking Kool-Aid. So, after G heard his Hebrew bitches was in trouble, he sent this mystical-superhero motherfucker named Moses to help free the Hebrews. Moses went all Godfather Part I on them, and asked those bitches if they wanna let them go- these Egyptians needed the Hebrews to grow and harvest their weed- so they wouldn't let them go.
So big G sent down some apocalyptic shit down on Eygpt, you know- giant fucking birds and shit. The Egyptians let the Hebrews go, and big G was like "ight, all you fucking Hebrew honeys and shit- you motherfuckers can have Israel, if you can make your silly asses to it". The Hebrews crossed through the desert, and big G was pissin' water for them down there. Moses met up with G for payment at a motherfucking mountain, and big G gave Moses laws for his people. So Moses made a giant motherfucking tee-pee and he and his other bitches would serve Big G.
(Going to hell)
- Josh
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