Never do it again: drink that much that quick

Well, it's almost 2 PM here on fathers' day... and I'm sitting here... feeling dumb as fuck.

Last night around 12 or so- George asked if I wanted to come over and get drunk with them (them being Joe and Monica), and I didn't have much going on- so I decided to.

After George and Joe came and got me- we went back to George's and played a few drinking (card) games, while just chilling out.

When George lost in one game, he donned the Heineken beer case as a hat that said "ASSHOLE" on it.

While we're all sitting around... Monica comes downstairs to deliver news, "There's four more beers left, then both cases are done"... which was depressing as I got my 3rd or 4th beer in me... Then (the slowly getting drunk) George reminds of us of the wine that he has.

As my final beer was killed off- I went and grabbed a bottle of wine and just started drinking it, walking around with it at that.

I remember walking around with the bottle of wine, drinking it and Joe going "Dude, you've kinda been chugging that since you got it... might wanna slow down", and then I looked at it to see that I had pretty much killed the entire bottle myself.

Monica stole the remaining bit, only to spill it upstairs.

Eventually, DK showed up, and he was having fun drinking with the rest of us.

Somehow, Crazy Carl showed up- and said he'd beat my ass, before handing me a beer.

After that... I don't really remember anything at all.

I woke up on George's couch this morning around 10 AM.

While I walked home, I looked at my shirt- and saw that I had what looked like... red vomit... then I remembered that we had Nacho Cheese Doritos.

When I got in contact with Monica- this is what she said happened:

anyways.....fuck you you fucking fuck for eating a roast before you went drinking! hahaha it took me like 40 min to get all that meat to go down the sink by poking it with a screw driver...

hah but its all cool. as always fun time was had by all.

While I pondered this, and thought of the Dorito vomit, I commented her back and told her that I had no idea what happened, to which she said this:

but not only did you puke every where you dropped and broke the bottle of whiskey! lol

Another thing I was unbeknownst to.

How we got that bottle of whiskey- I'll probably never know.

I drank WAY too much, in way too little time.

Worst part is: I'd do it again.

- Josh

Too Far

Once again, I bring you a tale from yesterday.
After what happened with Cameron, I didn't think it could get any worse... WELL, it did... Just not for me.

I was sitting at a bench outside of the park with Trevor, Corbin, Jesse, and two girls I didn't really know. We were having fun just making each other laugh, but then Adam walks out and comes up to Trevor and says "So I heard you wanted to fight me", a huge group walked out with Adam, and I turned to ask Tommy what's going on and he said "We're just fucking with Trevor.", now I mentioned Trevor and his mouth (which you can read here) so I couldn't really tell if he did say something at first. Well, Trevor says he didn't say anything about him and Adam smacks him in the face, and Trevor goes "yeah, that's great", and I just thought Trevor was in on the joke at that point, so I wanted to see it play out.

About ten minutes later, Adam comes back out with a huge group and pulls his shit again- except... this time he hits Trevor's head backwards into the fence, and I said "Alright guys, let's chill.", but Adam wouldn't have it... he pulled Trevor's hair and pulled him off of the bench. Trevor kicked Adam, and said "I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING DO ANYTHING TO YOU", and walked away angrily with a red face. Jesse and I chased him down and talked to him and chilled him out, even though I scared some kid away who was trying to make Trevor fight Adam by:

1. Beating him with a flip-flop
2. Chasing him with my penis out.

I'm not really friends with Trevor- but they took that shit too far. It was a joke until he started hitting him. I felt bad because I didn't stick up for Trevor earlier- but I thought he was cool with Adam. I'd do the same thing for anyone, because I'd want them to do it for me.


- Josh.

Coaches

Good evening dear readers (yes you),

I hope everything is swell over on your end.
Today was alright, hung with my good friend Nick Frendak for a bit- lent him a few CD's to listen to.
After that- I ran into Cameron.

We were walking along this white sidewalk in our town (it kind of stretches from one end of town to the other) and we were walking along the park and there are these baseball fields in the park. We were walking by the smallest field (where the little kids practice), and we heard this asshole coach (vandyke beard, wrap around sunglasses, and backwards flex fit hat, THE ENTIRE MACHO FUCK OUTFIT) yelling at these kids to keep running laps, Cameron and I stood and watched for a good ten minutes while the kids ran at least 20 laps, while Coach Dumbfuck yelled at him. Cameron said something and we got a dirty look.

I yelled out "You're kids COULD become well rounded individuals, but screw that- let's play baseball!", and we kept walking. We met up with Justin and walked around the park again, to where the little kids practice was, just to see the coaches yell at the kids again.

I eventually came home- and there is something on my mind.

Those coaches who coach little kids only coach because they are the true failures. They yell and make these little kids play their dumb little game because they were failures and they never made it- so fuck it, I'll take it out on little kids.

I feel that same way for ANY coach who verbally abuses a child into running laps, or works them too hard.

FUCK YOU- those kids aren't your failure sticks.
You can't force a little kid to be a winner, because you're a failure.

They work those poor kids hard because that's what their dad did- well... APPARENTLY IT DIDN'T WORK- OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T BE SCREAMING AT YOUR FUCKING KID TO DO ANOTHER GODDAMN LAP.

Learn to raise your fucking kids.

- Josh

Josh Bennett vs. The Puppy Killer

David Motari is a 22 yr. old Marine from Hawaii, in his spare time he enjoys snowboarding and killing puppies.

There is a video that started circulating around the internet of a soldier (David Montari) killing a puppy by throwing it off of a cliff.

The video is here:



Now, if you wish to argue is being a fake- that's fine, but it's still fucked up.

There are TONS of these videos around of US soldiers harming animals, and people alike, and I posted one on RARmy and got in trouble... Anyways.
It's... sad to think that the people who are "protecting" us in the middle east are getting off by hurting animals.

As I was: That video made Digg's front page, and as usual- the power of the internet gave us information. We now know WHO he is, what kind of car he drives, and I decided to write a little letter to him:

Subject: Dear David

Hi David,

I'm not sure if you've gotten "hatemail" yet, but after seeing the video of throwing the puppy off the cliff, then all I can say is this:

FUCK YOU.

You've served in the military, well- too fucking bad.
You'll get no sympathy from me because you served in the military.

It was a puppy.
A FUCKING PUPPY.

You're one of the various reasons why we have such a bad reputation. I do my fucking job, do yours- but don't kill puppies in the process.

To be truthful, I wish NO harm on you. Want to know why?

Because that would be me sinking down to your level.
Your puppy killing, pseudo-masochist, jackass level.

You'll get what is coming to you.

- Josh.

PS: your Civic sucks.

It disturbs me that this is what they're doing in their spare time.
We'll see how this plays out, and if I get a reply.

The link to the Digg page is located below. Let's hope it stays up long enough for more people to make a stand:

http://digg.com/people/US_Soldier_throws_puppy_off_cliff_%28video%29

A public service announcement.

Good day silencenauts (yes, that term again) I've got something new to report, something new I've done


... I peed in the sink.

That's right, I said it, and I did it.

I peed in the fucking sink, and guess what- it was the greatest urination of my entire life.

For you female readers- you may disregard, unless you're into crouching on top of your sink on a regular basis. Fellow manfolk- peeing in the sink is 1,000,000 times easier, quicker, and better than peeing in your toilet.

this is how I see it, your sink is usually at waist level with your body, meaning you don't have to let your little fellow hang there like a sloth from a tree.




Now, the cleanup is easier as well.

If you've ever woken up with a full bladder, like Hoover Dam type stuff. You go to the bathroom, and spend two minutes standing there, staring at your junk and the toilet.




What happens with that giant spurge of urine? It bounces on you occasionally. Making your leg covered in urine, and often the floor.

Not with the sink, you point and a steady stream goes right down the drain.





Now unless your sink is set back a good ten inches, you can make peeing in the sink easily.

It's not as gross as you might think either- urine is a sterile substance, and if it still disgusts you, just dump some water in the sink around the edges and stuff, it'll be good as it was before you unleashed your water beast into lake sinkalot.

So fellow males- do me a favor:

PISS IN YOUR SINK



- Josh.

Hell Of A Day.

So, I'm sitting here- currently 1:34 AM, and I'm REALLY tired, it's not that late, but it's been a long day.

I woke up this morning, and did some schoolwork, my daily thing.
After that I posted the following image on Myspace, and thought very little about it (you might need to click and enlarge it to read it) at the time.

























Funny shit, right?




WELL, one girl didn't think so.
A few hours later, I got a reply to the bulletin from Jennifer- who: hates me, and is one of Christina's (the ex) best friends.

The following is the message conversation we had:

Me: (Funny Christ Image)

Her: wow Josh.

Me: yes?

Her: why are you like that?

Me: I've never supported Christianity.
Not my thing, I didn't make the image, I just found it funny and figured I'd post it.

Her:what if some people don't think it's funny?
wow. i don't even know how Christina put up with you.

Me:
(question) what if some people don't think it's funny?

Well, I just think enlightenment is more important than what people find funny. I find the truth to be enlightening, if you don't like it- well I can't say anything except- don't look at the bulletin. I'm not trying to make a point to people, nor to offend people- I'm trying to make people think.
Think about everything, question everything.

(statement)wow. i don't even know how Christina put up with you.

Nor do i.

Her: thanks for the hot tip Quincy.

Me: Anytime.

Now, I want to address one of my most basic concerns with society; the truth in which that funny little image beholds. It's fucking honest!!! If you Christians really believe that Zombie Christ came here and makes us eat his flesh, then Kudos to you, but personally- I think it is complete and utter bullshit. Usually I'll never rail on about religion, and how inconsistent and hypocritical Christianity is, but when people fall in line like sheep it pisses me off. When you give yourself over to a religion, and commit yourself wholeheartedly towards it- I believe you have lost the will to think. When you start believe in one idea you are closing your mind to the universe around you, and saying "Hey fuck you, I believe in Zombie Christ".

We as people- are the stupidest, most easily led, the fattest (I don't exclude myself there), and often times to most ignorant kind that the universe has ever seen.

If you really believe in Christ, then why don't you believe in Dinosaurs?
Seriously- it's just as fucking plausible, and at least we have proof of those!

Maybe I should clarify how I feel- I feel that Christ DID exist, but he wasn't any messiah. He was just some old drunk nut-job that could have been the worlds first con artist. I don't believe in idolization, in any sense, I believe you should always think, and always think about possibilities, but Christianity doesn't allow possibilities, it tells you (depending on YOUR interpretation) what to do, but I feel like we should make up our own minds.

I believe in God, I believe in Karma, but I DON'T believe in religion, though Karma is a Buddhist way of thought I still see Buddhism as more of a way of life than a religion.

ANYWAYS, continuing with the day.

After that little argument I called Christina, told her about what happened, and ended up getting in a fight with her, because she thinks I should tell people the answer to every little question they ask (someone asked what OBEY was and I felt like the only way they could understand OBEY is if they read it themselves, and realized WHAT it actually is, and what it meant, instead of asking someone- because OBEY can be interpreted, and I don't want to instill my interpretation on someone else unless they already have a pretty solid opinion), she eventually ended up telling me she was getting pissed and got off the phone with me.

A while later- Fred called, and he was on his way over. He gave me an HOPE Obama poster (Designed by the great Shepherd Fairey), and we called Kara. We went over to her pad, and she got into a fight with her brother, Mike (Submerged in Thoughts, to the right). Kara, Fred, and I went out to the mall, and then just around to random other places.

We hit up some Perkins at 9 or so, and then walked over to Wal-Mart to burn some of those calories off. We're having fun and stuff, and this odd, odd fellow comes up while I'm wearing a pink baseball helmet and just talks for like ten minutes. I go off while the guy is still talking to Kara and Fred to just walk around. I come back 20 minutes later and he is still fucking talking to them. We all stand there and talk about stuff for another 15 minutes, and then we bail on the fellow.

We end up leaving around 11:40 for home, and I don't talk on the entire ride home (making them think I was somehow angry), I get home- watch some Monk, eat a piece of Pizza- and now here I sit.


So, that was MY day, how was yours?

- Josh.